Please Keep Yourself Inside the Moving Vehicle

I have never even entertained the thought of jumping from a moving vehicle, but they say there is a first time for everything. I am uncomfortable calling it suicidal, I'd rather call it mommy -hood. So after a day at the beach with my family, I headed home with the kids. As soon as we got in the car Maia Belle started crying like she always does. I figured she would tire herself out after about 15 minutes. So, I tried to block her out like I always do while attempting to maneuver Big Mama down the narrow highway and avoid side swiping the parked cars on my right and the moving cars on my left. Noah fell asleep in spite of the wailing child next to him. By the time I hit the freeway, I had endured 30 minutes of straight screaming. I kept taking deep breaths and telling myself to think peaceful thoughts and ignore the crying baby. She finally fell asleep 10 minutes later right before I was about to pull my hair out.  

 Just as I was getting comfortable with the peace and quiet and sure that she would be out for the rest of the drive, she woke up and began the monotonous screaming again. I felt my entire body tense up and my breathing quicken. I begged her to please go back to sleep. No such luck. After about 15 minutes of more straight screaming, a thought popped into my head, "If I open the door and jump from the car, the crying will stop and I will have relief. "  Yup, I know what you're thinking, a call to CPS is definitely in order now. But before you pick up the phone, remember that I already wrote them a letter explaining what a great parent I am so they probably won't believe you when you tell them that I seriously considered removing myself from a moving vehicle to rescue myself from the crying child in my back seat.