Thursday, February 5, 2009
Embarrassing Moment #129
Have you ever been so embarrassed that you wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole? I had one of those moments tonight. We were at my brother's rehearsal dinner because his wedding is on Sunday. Both my family and the bride's family were in this small garage since it was pouring rain outside and we were listening to my dad give a toast to the bride and groom. It was very quiet besides the voice of my dad and of course my Noah, who could not sit still. I kept trying to get him to be quiet but he continued speaking in his loud voice. While I am trying to keep him occupied and quiet, I see his face change to one of concentration. I know this face very well. Oh God please no! He turns to me and says the dreaded phrase, "Noah pooping!" He begins to grunt and I think, Oh God please no. Not right now! If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know that my son is not a discreet pooper. He grunts as if he is in the World's Strongest Man contest pulling a semi- truck. The other problem with my little situation was that I was stuck. The only way out was to squeeze by my father who was in front of everyone giving his speech. I could only imagine what people would think if I scooted by my father with my grunting child in the middle of a serious speech. In the midst of my panic and my son's commencing grunt, he passed gas rather loudly. Of course this happened during a pause in my father's address. As my face turned red, Noah looked at me with a mischievous smile and the realization that he didn't have to poop after all and happily said, "Noah farted!" I could feel my entire table staring at me as I quickly covered Noah's mouth with my hand and shushed him. I could hear the stifled giggles throughout the room and I looked over to see if the bride and groom had heard. Thank God, they hadn't, I swooped Noah up, scooted by my father and took him outside in case he had anymore flatulence to release and announcements to make about it. Why do kids have such bad timing for these kinds of things?