Family Photo

Family Photo

Friday, December 11, 2009

Story of My Life

Here is a recount of our visit to the doctor's office:

9:30 a.m. - After much bribing, threatening, and chaos the kids and I are headed to Maia's 10:15 doctor's appointment

10:00 a.m. - We have checked in and are in the waiting room

10:01 a.m. - The kids are fighting over the same toy and Maia is hitting Noah.

10:07 a.m. - Noah has half way wet his pants and I am running with both kids to the bathroom.

10:08 a.m. - I have lost sight of Maia. I am sure she is probably licking the toilet in the adjacent stall but I can't see her nor get to her as I am helping Noah so I just tell myself that ignorance is bliss.

10:10 a.m. - Back in the waiting room and I smell a nasty smell.

10:11 a.m. - Again, I gather both kids and their jackets and my purse and we head out to the parking lot to change Maia's poop diaper (I left the diaper bag in the car because I figured Maia was done pooping for the day. I was wrong.)

10:13 a.m. - I am sternly warning Noah to "GET OVER HERE NOW" before he gets smashed by a car in the parking lot all while changing Maia's diaper on the front seat of the car.

10:17 a.m. - We are back in the waiting room and Noah is loudly telling me that he wants the baby that just entered the waiting room to "go home." Why? Oh no reason at all...just to embarrass me I guess. That poor baby's mama must think my kid is so mean.

10:20 a.m. - Maia is crying hysterically because the nurse has called us back and she is having memories of her last doctor's visit when she got 4 shots.

10:30 a.m. - The doctor diagnosis her with a sinus infection and mentions she is going to prescribe her antibiotics. Noah begins to cough dramatically and complain that he "doesn't feel good." (He is jealous that Maia is getting medicine. He wants medicine too.)

10:40 a.m. - Maia is on the floor of the pharmacy in the midst of a full on tantrum because I won't buy the Winnie the Pooh gummy vitamins for her. I am wondering if anyone saw me walk in with her and if I could get away with walking away from her and pretending like I don't know her.

10:42 a.m. - Noah informs me very indiscreetly that he has to "go poop really really bad!"

10:48 a.m. - The three of us are in the stall, Noah is sitting on the toilet whining because he doesn't want the automatic toilet to flush by itself, he wants to push the button but I am in the midst of wiping him and so this is a problem. The whining is getting to me, I am freaking out about Maia opening and closing the little trash can door next to the toilet paper and I am about to pass out from the smell in the stall.

10:55 a.m. - Everyone makes it out alive and disinfected although I am a bit frazzled.

10:57 a.m. - Maia is on the floor of the pharmacy again throwing a tantrum over the gummy vitamins and Noah has disappeared.

10:58 a.m. - Our prescription is ready, I have distracted Maia from her tantrum by getting her to give the lady the money and I spot Noah crawling into one of the bottom shelves which is filled with magazines.

11:00 a.m. - My kids are running through the halls of Kaiser as we make our exit while all the people they pass are shooting me dirty looks. I am sure I heard loud cheers as we left the building.


LIL MAMA said...

story of my life but add 4 more kids, aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol

Nana said...

Brings back memories of when I had all four of you at the doctor's office and Kelsey cut his head by flying off the twirling chair Andreas spun him around right when we were about to leave. We had to listen to poor Kelsey cry for another hour while the doctor stitched up his head. It was not a good day to say the least. You'll live.

Shay said...

Oh man I have one and have my hands full let alone two.. I give you an applause my friend