Conversations From Today

Conversation #1

Noah: "Can I take my balloon to bed with me mommy?"

Me: "No, because it could pop and you could choke on it."

Maia: (From the other side of the hallway) *Cough cough* "Like that. Choke."

Me: (Laughing) Yup Maia, he'll choke just like that! Thanks for clarifying.

Conversation #2

Me: We can't go to Luke's house because he is sick.

Noah: But, I wanna go!

Me: You want him to throw up on you?

Noah: I wanna go to Luke's hoooouuuse.

Me: Noah, what did mommy just tell you? Why can't we go to Luke's house?

Noah: "Cuz, he'll throw up on me and dat's yucky! I don't Luke to throw up on me."

Conversation #3

Me: "Noah! Do you want a spanking? You better come over here right now!"

Noah: (Contemplating whether or not to obey) "You have the spanking spoon mama?"

Me: Shoot! Stinking smart kid! Do I lie and tell him that I brought the spanking spoon? Lord, forgive me for lying, it's for his own good! "Yes, I have the spanking spoon. It's in the diaper bag."

Noah: Okay. (He obediently makes his way over to me)