Change

I have a hard time with change. I mean, it's not that I lack flexibility. It's just that it's hard to say good bye to the familiar and hello to the unknown. There are lots of changes happening around here lately and I think the anxiety of it all is adding to the nausea. Thus, I will not be sad when this season of change and nausea is over.

Noah starts pre-school next week. He will be going on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:00 to 3:00. I am going to cry like a baby all day that day. I am sure of it. He is beyond ready, but I am not. Yesterday, he was a 5 lb baby in the NICU fighting for his life! How the heck is he 3 1/3 going on 13 today? No matter how much I beg him to stay little, he assures me that he is bound to get bigger because he eats all his "veja-vuls" and because he wants to go wakeboarding by himself.

Guck and Bup are moving out of their house and will have to wait a bit before they get into their new house as it is not done being built. So, not only is Maia going to have to adjust to being without her brother for the first time, she is also going to have to adjust to an unstable babysitting situation for awhile. I really think she will do fine, but me? Well, I am a bit stressed out for her. I know that once Guck and Bup get settled into their new house, Maia will never want to leave, but until then I don't know what to expect!

Did I mention that I am pregnant? Oh yeah, I have. Did I mention that I am nauseous 24 hours a day and that I throw up at least twice a day? Oh, I yeah, you knew that too! Did I mention that this pregnancy was not planned and that I hate being pregnant? Pregnancy doesn't agree with me and so it is hard to function everyday. Everyday I pray that I will stay positive and not sink into the "woe is me" negative nelly pity party. It is not an easy task. And, with all of the changes staring me down, it makes it even tougher. It also doesn't help that I have not been able to work out and that I have gained EIGHT POUNDS according to the sale at the doctor's office (I would just like to say here that I had my heavy wedge shoes on, heavy jeans, and I had to pee really bad...combined all of that HAS to weigh 5 pounds, right?).

This will definitely be a time in my life that I will remember well. I just pray that the nausea and anxiety does not get the best of me and that I can truly "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding." I know that trials produce character and perseverance. Pray for me!