No I did not forget to bring wipes on our theater excursion. And no I did not get poop on my finger twice while trying to change their poopy diapers and wipe them with wet toilet paper. Of course the poop did not roll out of the diaper and onto the public bathroom floor either. That would never happen to me!
No I did not feed Maia so many blueberries that her poop was blue.
I would never threaten to pull over and leave my two year old on the side of the road if he didn't stop whining. Not me!
No I am not wearing shorts today even though I have not shaved my legs in about 4 months. That is just wrong and I would never do that!