The Battle Field

The dinner table has become the battle field lately and Ricky and I have learned to come to the battlefield armed with the proper weapons and wit lest we be defeated by our two small unpredictable opponents. Our weapons consist of  lots of napkins and wipes, a broom, an extra dose of patience, a stern voice, and the most effective weapon "The Spanking Spoon."

 We must first  threaten our opponents with "The Spanking Spoon" to get them to the battlefield. Once there, we thank God for our meal and ask Him for the extra dose of patience.  The next 15 minutes consist of Ricky and I sternly commanding our foes and excessively praising them at the same time (a form of reverse psychology!): "Don't play with your food," "Maia, do not spit it out. You WILL eat it, if it's the last thing you do," "Good job Noah! See how your brother is eating all his food Maia? He is a good boy!," "Noah, do not throw your cup on the floor," "No, you are not all done until mommy says you're all done," "Look how Maia is being such a good girl and not throwing her cup!," "Please don't put the food in your hair," "If you don't stop whining, I will have to use 'The Spanking Spoon.'" By the end of the 15 minutes our stern voices are exhausted, the napkins and wipes have been used to clean several messes, and the extra dose of patience is on it's last leg. At this point Ricky and I, do the "three more bites and you can be done thing," and flash "The Spanking Spoon" if we get any resistance.  By the time they have consumed their three bites, Ricky and I are left with a disastrous battlefield which must be cleaned , whiny opponents in need of a bath, my unsatisfied stomach, no patience, and exhaustion. We have no time or energy left to gloat over our victory because we must move on to baths and cleaning, however we are thankful for avoiding having to wave the white flag of surrender.