Finally Something Worth Blogging About

I have been in a blog funk this past week and have not really had anything worth writing about but today I knew I needed some blogging material lest I lose my faithful 33 readers so I took my 2 babies out by myself to Target and then to lunch at Panera Bread. I know many of you may not understand the gravity of what I just said but if I were to read that on someone else's blog I would have gasped in shock!!! What woman in her right mind takes an 11 month old and a 2 year old by herself out shopping and then to a restaurant right before nap time? I do, only when in need of blogging material.
Of course as soon as we park at Target (as far away from the store as possible because I am still afraid to park Big Mama next to cars), I smell a nasty diaper. Sure enough, Maia pooped. I change her in the front seat while Noah screams to get out of his car seat. Once I am done with this task, I grab a cart, put Maia in the front and let Noah stand in the back of the cart. We get to the shoes section and as I am browsing for shoes, Noah is selecting styles that he thinks I should try on and Maia is grabbing any shoes within her reach and throwing them on the floor. By the time we left the women's show section after only being there 3 1/2 minutes, it looked like a tornado hit it.
We went to the kids shoe section and I had Noah try on a few pairs of shoes. By the third pair he was super whiny and the more he whined the more I told him that if he would just be quiet and stay still I could get the shoe on his foot and it could be over and done with. He screamed louder and then broke out into a pained cry. I told him he was being dramatic and that the shoe did not hurt that bad. Then in between sobs he showed me his hand and I noticed 2 deep teeth marks on his finger. He had been holding on for balance to the back of the seat part of the cart where Maia was sitting while I was putting the shoe on him. I hadn't noticed that she had spotted his hand there and didn't quite like that his hand was so close to her. Unfortunately her solution to removing anything she doesn't like is to bite it. So we had a melt down right there in the shoe aisle; Noah crying out of pain and Maia crying because she got in trouble. I attempted to shush them because I was gathering a crowd. It wasn't working. I quickly ran the cart over to the toy section and thank God they stopped crying. However as soon as we left the toy section they were both screaming once again. I ran to Starbucks in the store and asked for a cup of water because for some reason giving Maia a cup with a straw shuts her up. It worked. We checked out and got back in the car and headed over to lunch at Panera Bread.
Once there, I placed a very wet Maia (she spilled the entire cup of water on herself) and a tired Noah in their high chairs and began the lunch battle. Oh yeah, update on Noah: Every meal time is a battle with the kid. He all of a sudden doesn't like to eat and needs to be begged or threatened to open his mouth for every bite. I set Maia up with her turkey and peas and tried to enjoy my own lunch in between begging Noah to eat his lunch. In the middle of lunch Maia decides to stink up the place once again. Her little face turns bright red and unpleasant noises and smells ooze from her bottom. Right as I am thinking about how embarrassed I am, Noah starts whining and grunting at the same time. I quickly shove what's left on my plate in my mouth, throw Maia in the stroller, pick up Noah and our stuff and run off before anyone realizes that both of my kids are spoiling their appetites. We make it into the bookstore bathroom and as I place Maia on the changing table I realize that I had left the wipes in the car from the earlier diaper change. Needless to say, Maia got a less than satisfactory diaper change and toilet paper is pretty useless when cleaning a baby's poop. Noah ran around unsupervised in the bathroom and I am sure picked up numerous diseases from all the toilet seats he touched. The one good thing was that Noah's grunting was a false alarm, so I didn't have to unsatisfactorily clean his diaper as well.
By the time we got home, I didn't even bother changing Maia's diaper again to clean up the leftovers. I was too exhausted. I put them both down for their naps and went straight to my computer. Sheesh...the things I put myself through for blogging material...