Be Careful What You Ask For

I have found that living life with Christ and for Christ is fulfilling, satisfying, and adventurous. As far as I am concerned, it is the only way to live. Lately, I have asked God to use me in any way that He sees fit. I want to do the work that He has for me to do because of all that He has done for me.

God answered and it was obvious to me. It was awesome to see obvious answers to my prayers and I was relishing the fact that I was doing the things He had gifted me to do. However, I was not prepared for what happens when God begins to use you. Some may call it attacks from the enemy and others may say that it is God's way of testing and sharpening us. All of a sudden I began to see tension in my relationship with my husband, a lack of patience with my naughty toddlers, and an overall "yuckiness" (yes that is the technical term) in my general attitude. I wrestled with God for a few days over these issues and asked "Why?" Why was everyone around me turning on ME? He had an answer, 1.) It is never about ME. I am just not that important in the grand scheme of things. Ultimately, it is all about Him. 2.) I must always choose righteousness no matter the circumstances. Psalm 85:13 says "Righteousness goes before Him and prepares the way for His steps." I must choose to have the right attitude, I must choose to love in spite of being loved in return, I must choose not to judge, and I must choose to be patient and gentle no matter how excessive the whining or biting by the toddlers. If I want God to continue to use me then I must prepare the way for Him by being righteous. He won't use use me and I won't be able to hear Him speak to me if I am not being obedient to Him. If anything, I will just mess up the task He gave me to do by trusting my own judgement and by throwing myself a pity party. I need to get up, dust myself off, pray without ceasing, and always choose righteousness...but first I need to go apologize to my hubby and children for my "yuckiness!" I am so thankful that my God forgives and continues to use me in spite of my shortcomings.