You would think that by now I would have mastered the art of taking my son pee standing up.
At 12:30 a.m. the other day I was unpleasantly awoken by a little voice in the other room saying, "Mooooommy, I have to go poooootty!" I stumbled out of bed and made my way to get my son to the potty before he peed in his jammies.
The goal was to get this done the quickest way possible so that I would not have to fully wake up. This way I would go right back to sleep.
I decided to stand him up as that would be much quicker. But, as soon as he started to pee I heard a loud tinkle to my left. His pee stream was completely missing the toilet and instead going into the bath tub and all over the floor. I realized my mistake and tried to correct my aim which ended up in a spray of pee all over the seat and a puddle of pee on the floor on the other side of the toilet. I let out an "Oh NO!" and Noah started to cry. I tried to calm him down so as to not wake up the rest of the household. When he was done he let me know that we had "Made a biiig mess." I took him back to his crib and went back to the bathroom to clean up and disinfect my entire bathroom. By the time I was done, I was wide awake and ended up going to work the next morning very sleep deprived.
The moral of the story? Well, if you have little boys that have to go pee in the middle of the night, just stand them up in the bath tub and let them pee. You can do this in the dark without having to fully wake up and it will all wash down with a turn of the faucet.