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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Is there such a thing as TOO low maintenance?

The other day I was thinking, wow, my husband Ricky is a lucky man because I am really low maintenance. I know some women who require lots of money to maintain themselves and their expensive pastimes i.e. shopping. As I compared myself to these women and began to make a mental list of all the reasons why Ricky should be very appreciative of his low maintenance wife,  I got a little less proud of myself and a little more grossed out. Is there such a thing as TOO low maintenance? Here is my list...

1. Lots of women shop on a weekly or even daily basis for new clothes. The last time I went shopping for myself was in the spring of 2006 and I still wear clothes that I wore in high school. 

2. Most women see pregnancy as a reason to buy a whole new wardrobe. I was pretty much pregnant for 2 years straight and only bought 3 articles of maternity clothing which were all on sale. The rest I borrowed or were gifts. 

3.  Many women go straight to the mall to buy the newest model or style of things. Before I buy anything I check craigslist to see if I can get it second hand for cheaper. I make an exception for underwear. 

4. Many women buy shoes like there is no tomorrow. I buy shoes like there will be billions of tomorrows. The last pair of tennis shoes I bought were from Payless 4 years ago and they are still my only pair of tennis shoes which are pretty worn out by now. 

5. Many women love handbags and spend ungodly amounts of money on them because they have the letters DB or LV on them. I say who needs a handbag when you've got a diaper bag? It's just as chic to carry around diaper bag with food spilled all over it as it is to carry around a handbag with letters on it. 

Here's where it starts to get questionable...

6. Most women get their hair done every 4 to 6 weeks to keep themselves looking presentable. The last time I got my hair cut was in December and it is anything but presentable so I just wear it up in a pony tail all the time. 

7. Most women shave their legs daily and need razors on a regular basis and have silky smooth legs. I never have to buy razors because I shave my legs once every 4 to 5 months. I like to think of myself as "organic." It's cool to be "organic" these days. 

8. Most women get pedicures every 3 to 4 weeks or they paint and cut their toenails themselves. As for me, I make a pedicure last for 3 months. Never mind the barely there nail polish and disgustingly long toenails. Hey, at least I get my monies worth. 

9.  Most women get their eyebrows done every couple of weeks or they upkeep their eyebrows daily. Personally, I don't remember the last time my eyebrows were done. Unibrows are sexy, right? 

Hmmmm, maybe, Ricky isn't so lucky after all...I am going to go cut my toenails and tweeze my eyebrows now...


4 comments:

Bridget said...

yea! welcome to the blog world :) you would never know... you look high maintenance to me!

Tiffany said...

OMG this is the funniest thing I have read since your confessions. I totally understand you. And I totally was all proud of myself too..thinking I was doing my hubby proud by being low maintenance and saving money on grooming. UNTIL my hubby mentioned to me that he would like it if I got my hair done and actually wore makeup. Oops!

Jenny said...

... this is Jenny... okay you crack me up... everything is fine... except for the eyebrow and pedicure. That's one thing I can't stand it nasty feet!!!!

Jenny said...

Everything is fine... except for the pedicure... You need to get those puppies done!!! But you freakin crack me up. Until we meet again.