Noah's First Day of School

So, I was a bit of a wreck the morning of Noah's first day of school. He was really excited until we actually walked up to the school. Then, he began to have second thoughts, "Mommy, I don't wanna go to school. I wanna stay with you." It was a good thing my friend, Debbie came with me for moral support or I just might have made a run for it, taken him home, and played hooky from work. I assured him he'd love it and continued the walk to school. As we were making our way to the classroom, I saw all the other parents there with their big ol' professional cameras taking pictures of this milestone in their child's life. SHOOT! Again, I get the World's Worst Mommy Award. How did I not even think to bring a camera?! Then, I remembered that I had my iPhone in my purse. It would have to do. I took a picture, took a deep breath, and left my Noah with the teacher at the playground who invited him to draw on the floor with chalk. I did not even get to kiss him goodbye. I did not want to make a scene. Debbie, rubbed my back and told me it would be okay. I felt my eyes get hot, but I willed myself not to cry. I was successful.

Throughout the day, I had three different people give me updates on Noah. He was doing great, not crying at all, and participating in all the activities. I could not wait to hear all about it from him. When 2:30 rolled around, Ricky came to pick him up. Ricky, Maia, and I all walked over to the school together to pick up our big boy. When I walked into the classroom, he was eating his snack with all the other kids. I noticed his crooked shorts and half tucked in t-shirt when he stood up. He got a huge smile on his face when he saw us and came bouncing over. Before Ricky or I could get to him, Maia embraced him in a huge hug as if she was seeing him for the first time in months! He hugged her back and did not get annoyed when she would not let go. She missed him so much! Again, I felt my eyes get hot, but I refused to let the tears fall!

The teacher told us how well he did and on our walk to the car, he told me how he listened to a froggy story, painted with green paint, climbed up the blue red and yellow letters, danced with sticks to a funny bear song, ate graham crackers, played with Larry Boy, was the "light helper," prayed, and went potty all by himself.

My heart was full!

Conversations with My Kids Today

Eating dinner and talking with Noah. He explained something to me...

Me: "Oh that makes sense."

Noah: "Why did you say that word?"

Me: "What word?"

Noah: "That word."

Me: "That makes sense?"

Noah: "Yeah."

Me: "Because when you understand something, you say 'That makes sense.'"

Noah: "Well I don't like that word. You shouldn't say it anymore."

Me: "Okay. If it bothers you that much, I won't say it anymore."

Noah: "Kay."

I was talking with Ricky about how my sister-in-law was currently in labor and that they had just broken her water. Maia was listening intently to our conversation...

Maia: "Why her water broke?"

Me: "When babies are in the tummy, they are in water. So, when they come out the water comes out."

Maia: "You have a cup of water in your tummy?"

Me: "No. It's more like the baby is swimming in water."

Maia: "You have a big pool in your tummy?"

Me: "No, a big pool wouldn't fit in my tummy."

Maia: "You have a cuzzi in your tummy? The baby is swimming in it?"

Me: "Yup."

Maia: "Oh!"

Change

I have a hard time with change. I mean, it's not that I lack flexibility. It's just that it's hard to say good bye to the familiar and hello to the unknown. There are lots of changes happening around here lately and I think the anxiety of it all is adding to the nausea. Thus, I will not be sad when this season of change and nausea is over.

Noah starts pre-school next week. He will be going on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:00 to 3:00. I am going to cry like a baby all day that day. I am sure of it. He is beyond ready, but I am not. Yesterday, he was a 5 lb baby in the NICU fighting for his life! How the heck is he 3 1/3 going on 13 today? No matter how much I beg him to stay little, he assures me that he is bound to get bigger because he eats all his "veja-vuls" and because he wants to go wakeboarding by himself.

Guck and Bup are moving out of their house and will have to wait a bit before they get into their new house as it is not done being built. So, not only is Maia going to have to adjust to being without her brother for the first time, she is also going to have to adjust to an unstable babysitting situation for awhile. I really think she will do fine, but me? Well, I am a bit stressed out for her. I know that once Guck and Bup get settled into their new house, Maia will never want to leave, but until then I don't know what to expect!

Did I mention that I am pregnant? Oh yeah, I have. Did I mention that I am nauseous 24 hours a day and that I throw up at least twice a day? Oh, I yeah, you knew that too! Did I mention that this pregnancy was not planned and that I hate being pregnant? Pregnancy doesn't agree with me and so it is hard to function everyday. Everyday I pray that I will stay positive and not sink into the "woe is me" negative nelly pity party. It is not an easy task. And, with all of the changes staring me down, it makes it even tougher. It also doesn't help that I have not been able to work out and that I have gained EIGHT POUNDS according to the sale at the doctor's office (I would just like to say here that I had my heavy wedge shoes on, heavy jeans, and I had to pee really bad...combined all of that HAS to weigh 5 pounds, right?).

This will definitely be a time in my life that I will remember well. I just pray that the nausea and anxiety does not get the best of me and that I can truly "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding." I know that trials produce character and perseverance. Pray for me!

Confessions of a Pregnant Woman

Yesterday on my way to work, I saw a picture of a breakfast burrito on a restaraunt window and HAD to have one even though I'd just eaten breakfast. I bought one and almost crashed because I was eating and driving, and eating was much more important to me than driving.

Every evening at around 8:30, I eat Eggo waffles with butter and syrup and a cold glass of milk.

The thought of cupcakes makes me gag.

I was determined to fit into my skinny jeans one last time today. I have been in pain all day and I think my jeans are probably in pain too, but at least they are staying buttoned and I look skinny.

Noah asked me how the baby comes out...I lied and told him that they cut my tummy open to get the baby out (it is a possibility, not really a lie), he was traumatized...but I think that was less traumatizing than the other option...Any suggestions for appropriate answers for my 3 year old?

In a Funk

Pregnancy is a miracle and it is a gift. I need to remind myself of that multiple times a day. Why? Well, because I feel like I am living in this cloud of nausea. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, my stomach feels as though at any moment it will rid itself of its contents. In the midst of this cloud, I must complete my daily tasks of caring for two toddlers, being a wife, and having a job. It is all so daunting and all I want to do is sleep. I know that this is only for a season, but it seems never ending.

Bleh...

Goodbye Hello

I'm saying goodbye to skinny jeans and hello to sweats

I'm saying goodbye to clear skin and hello to teenage pimple face

I'm saying goodbye to a good night's sleep and hello to peeing at 12, 2 , and 4 in the morning

I'm saying goodbye to feeling great and hello to nausea, vomiting, water retention, and fatigue

I'm saying goodbye to life as I know it and hello to another one of these:

Now that you are over the shock, I will answer your questions...

No, it was not planned (none of my 5 pregnancies were planned, you can just call us irresponsible)!

I have no idea how we are going to fit 3 kids in a 2 bedroom 1,100 square foot home. We are counting on God to do a miracle.

Yes, we are excited. Ricky was excited from the moment we found out, I needed a little time to process.

Noah and Maia are ecstatic!

I am hoping for a boy because I think another girl will send me to the looney bin!

Yes, I am planning to keep doing the Shred until I physically can't do it anymore.

I am about 6 1/2 weeks along and guessing that this will be an April baby.

It's Been Awhile

Hi, yup I'm still here. Just been a bit preoccupied lately. I will share more on that at a later date, but for now, let me just catch you up on the life of this working mom who is trying to keep her sanity while raising two toddlers.

Last week, I had a moment where I thought I seriously was on the verge of insanity. I almost ran out of my house screaming. I felt as though I could not take another second of the chaos. Maia was sick and clingy which means I carried her around 24 hours a day for about 5 days straight. I had not been getting good sleep because she was up most of the night. And, Noah had chosen those days to pick up his incessant whining habits again. On day 6, I was supposed to go to work, but I could not get a babysitter. The insanity was creeping in. I needed a break, badly. But, no break was to be found. So, I spent the day in chaos mode. I could not seem to get control of any situation, and I found myself counting down the minutes to nap time. The day was a whirl wind of loud tantrums and crying with a steady background of whining. It was enough to make even the coolest, calmest, most collected person crazy. I thought for sure, Ricky would come home to a wife with a twitch, rocking in the corner, and talking to herself.

However, by God's grace, I maintained my sanity and bolted out the door for some "alone time" as soon as Ricky walked through the door!

My conclusion to the situation is one that I am sure many people will have strong opinions about. But, I am going to say it anyways: Some people were just not cut out to be stay-at-home moms. I am one of those people. I am so thankful for the way God has blessed me to be able to be home with my kids 3 1/2 days a week and at work the other half of the week. It is a perfect balance for my sanity and I love it! There, I said it.