Chonie Talk

Around here we call underwear "chonies." I just wanted to clear that up for anyone who does not know what I am talking about when I say "chonies." Now that you are informed I will get on with my post.

Today we had to buy Noah some more chonies because I just don't do laundry enough for him to only have 5 pairs of them. We took a family shopping trip to Target and lo and behold Noah spotted a package of Thomas the Train chonies! We added them to the cart and of course he had to go potty at that moment so that he could change into his new beloved Thomas underwear. I had to explain that we had to pay for them first and that we were not yet done shopping. That did not go over too well. He refused to let me take him to the potty. Plan B- I pointed out the security guard standing by the bathroom and told Noah that she would give him a ticket if he did not go potty right now and leave the Thomas chonies in the cart. My threat was effective, he went potty and I avoided a mess and a melt down.

After Target, we headed to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for some other items. The problem was that Noah would not part with his beloved Thomas chonies and requested to take them with him into the store. By this time the package was open and he had all three pairs ready to take with him in the store. I bartered with him and he agreed to only take one pair in with him. Great! I am sure people were wondering why my little boy was walking around a home goods store swinging chonies around with glee.

Tonight, he requested to sleep with them on, but since he still needs a diaper at night, we had a problem. My solution? Well, I told him he could hold all three pairs while he slept...you know?...like some kids hold a doll or a blankie? My kid holds Thomas chonies...three pairs of Thomas chonies. Noah was very pleased with this plan and is now asleep happily cuddling with 3 pairs of chonies. Is that weird?

What Has Become of Me?

As my weekend comes to an end, I sit here reminiscing over the past few days and I realize that all I have talked about to anyone I have come in contact with this weekend is my son's poop and pee. I also realize that I have used the word "potty" maybe 200 million times in 3 days. What has become of me? I am an intelligent woman with aspirations of writing a book some day and yet all I have talked about for the past 3 days is Noah's Disney character "chonies," and how Noah only peed all over himself once and how he pooped in the potty 4 times total so far and how I now carry around a potty with me wherever I go. What is wrong with me?

I'd like to publicly apologize to whoever had to listen to my crazy potty talk this weekend. I apologize to the lady who I sat next to in church today. I am sure that you did not care to hear about the text my husband sent me informing me of the second "man poop" that Noah had left for him in the potty. I apologize to my cousin for bragging about Noah going pee twice in the public potty at the dinner table. I apologize to my sister-in-laws for running through the house holding Buzz Lightyear chonies and informing you of my inability to keep Noah's pee from squirting out of the toilet. And to my friend who just came up to me this morning at church to say hi, I apologize for immediately letting you know that "Noah only had to pee all over himself once to understand the whole potty training thing."

I know that all of you did not ask for any of this inappropriate information. Thank you for being so gracious and listening to my rants. ! I promise to bring back more variety to my conversations and to try and stay away from toilet stories...I'll just keep those for my blog!

Potty Training Diaries

Our first full day of potty training was surprisingly successful. I spent all day staring at Noah for "potty" signs, asking him if he had to go potty, and sitting on the bathroom floor. The highlight of my day was Noah pooping in the potty for the first time. It took everything within me not to gag at his man poop. Instead, I danced around, celebrated, praised him profusely for pooping in the potty. Then we went to Barnes and Noble to buy him an "Emily Train." He was ecstatic! While we were out he made 2 successful public bathroom pee stops.
Later in the day, we took the kids to my mom's house along with the porta-potty and Noah continued to use it successfully. I was so proud!
I pray that the rest of the week is as great as the first day! Pray for us!

Theology Lesson for the 2 Year Old

This is the conversation that took place on the way home from Bup's house. Bup had given me a bad report on little Miss Maia who had decided to hit her brother for no reason that day. So, I decided that the car ride home was a perfect time for a lesson on loving each other. Little did I know that it would lead to a theology lesson for Noah. I was definitely not prepared...

Me: Maia, you do not hit your brother. You need to love your brother and be nice to him. Jesus wants us to love each other.

Noah: Why?

Me: Because He...(pause.. how do I explain that the world would be choas if everyone was mean to each other?)...just wants us to be kind and loving toward each other.

Noah: Where is He?

Me: He lives in your heart.

Noah: Where is my heart?

Me: Ummm...uh...inside your chest...

Noah: Jesus, is in there?

Me: (Phew! ) Yup! (Oh please let this be the end)

Noah: (Lifting his shirt) I wanna see Jesus?

Me: Well, you can't see Him, but He's there...in your heart... and He hears you when you talk to Him even though you can't see Him and He wants you to be nice to your sister and He wants you to love her.

Noah: I wanna see Him?

Me: Well...uh...you can't...uh...

Noah: Look Mommy! A tractor!

Me: Thank you Lord for sending the tractor to rescue me!

Ay yaiy yaiy!

Put on Your Mommy Face

I've run into a new parenting dilemma for which I was not prepared. You see, when Maia is trying to communicate with Noah and he does not understand her, she will run over to him, wind up, and smack him as hard as she can. This is also the way she reacts if he picks up a toy that she wants, if he gets food before she does, or if she just feels like hitting him. I told you, she is a feisty one...you don't want to get on her bad side! The dilemma I am having has nothing to do with how to punish her and everything to do with my instinctual tendency to laugh out loud because it is hilarious to watch. How in the world is she going to take me seriously if I am laughing while trying to tell her that what she did is wrong? Yesterday, I had to turn around and bite my lip (so hard that I nearly bled) until I could compose myself to turn around and discipline her! It really is that funny. What do you do when you need to be serious with your children but what they did was just so funny that you can't help but laugh?

My Cuties

Potty Training Notes to Self

I am writing these notes so that I can refer back to them when potty training Maia:

Do not jump up and scream, "LET'S RUN TO THE POTTY!" when you notice the that trainee has "the look" on his face. You will scare him out of going poop and have a constipation problem on your hands.

Always have rewards on hand when potty training. Apparently, two-year-old trainees do not understand the IOU concept. Example: "If you go poop in the potty mommy will owe you a treat!" Trainee: "Where's the treat mommy?" Me: "At the store. If you go poop in the potty mommy will go to the store later and buy you a treat." Trainee: "Where's the treat? I wanna see it? I no wanna go poop in da potty."

Put a tarp over all carpeted areas in the house and over all couches. Clean up will be much easier this way.

Do not have a one-year-old running around while potty training a 2 year old. The one-year old will stick their hands in the toilet, run wild with the toilet paper, and steal the trainee's toys which in turn distracts the trainee from the task at hand and makes potty training impossible.

When potty training do not buy underwear that are too big for your kid. If the underwear are too big and the trainee poops in them, the poop will roll out of the underwear and be considered M.I.A. until you later find the missing poop nugget on the dining room floor in the midst of the toys.