I wish I could torch all these stupid ants and watch them scream as they shrivel up and DIE.
Hmmm...are there ear plugs for little kids? I wonder if my kids would sleep longer if I put them to bed with ear plugs in their ears.
There must be something rotting inside my son's belly? It can't be normal for a 2 year old's farts to make my eyes water and my gag reflex to go wild.
I seriously need to look into anger management classes for my one-year-old. She just violently hit and kicked the wall and then attempted to bite it after she accidentally ran into it. I feel sorry for the kid that ever bullies her.