Goals for 2009

Confession Mama Goals:

1. Never leave my babies unattended on the bed. (Noah has fallen off of it 3 times and Maia 1 time...I think it is about time I make this a resolution!)

2. Break into Mid-Life Crisis Man's house and bash his stereo to smithereens with a baseball bat.

3. Actually send Mid-Life Crisis man a letter asking him to please bring his Mid-Life Crisis ways to an end. 

4. Stop wearing clothes out of my dirty clothes hamper which translates into doing my own laundry more than twice a year. 

5. Stop writing blogs about my anxiety over my kids going out with the GPs. 

6. Vacuum my house more than once a month so Maia doesn't look like I just took her out of a trash can after playing on the floor. 

7. Keep my kid's teeth from falling out by remembering to brush his teeth at least once a day. 

8. Stop ignoring my kids when they try to get my attention while I am blogging.

9. Stop watching trash like "The Real World" which makes me dumber.

Serious Goals

1. Spend time with the Lord daily

2. Pray over my kids out loud daily and be intentional about teaching them about Jesus. 

3. No more "venting"

4. Go on a date night with my hubby twice a month

5. Be intentional about spending time with my friends!

6. Help those who are less fortunate and teach my kids to do the same. I don't want them growing up thinking the world revolves around them. 

7. Do a sprint Trithalon...yikes

8. Read books instead of watching t.v. 

I love the bringing in the New Year even though I don't actually stay up to bring it in...I went to sleep at 10:30 last night! I enjoy the first day of the New Year because it is a time for me to set new goals for myself and just start over. I always anticipate the new adventure the Lord will take me on in the New Year and what He has for me to learn. Life with Him is so exciting! 

Throwing in the Towel

Oh shoot, I just lied to my son...I told him I was working...blogging is working, right? 

The other morning, my day started at 8. I got the kids out of bed changed them, fed them and then sat down to play with them. Sure enough, Noah started grunting and sweating because he was constipated. Great! After about 20 minutes of his painful grunting, I decided to step in as only mom's will do. I set him on his changing table and aided him in pooping...I won't go into details to save you all from losing your breakfast. During this process, he was in so much pain that he threw up all over the place. I cleaned him up and threw him in the bath tub. 

  Seeing my son in that much pain, then having to dig out poop and clean up vomit took it's toll on me and I was feeling emotionally worn out. I decided that I would get myself ready in hopes that it would give my spirit a lift. A little make-up and a flat iron, always gives me a boost. I left Noah with his toys in the living room and placed Maia on my bed to watch me get ready. Bad idea... As I was applying concealer, I looked over to see what Maia was doing. She was on the very edge of the bed and on her way off of it. It all happened in slow motion. I threw my make-up and ran for the bed as she slowly made her way off the bed toward the floor. I yelled, "Maaaaiaaa, nooooo." And flung my arms out to catch her. I missed. She hit the floor and let out a huge cry. I picked her up and wondered if God regretted giving me two of His children to care for. I held Maia for awhile and moved all her limbs to make sure she wasn't broken. I finished getting ready and got the kids ready to go to the market. I set Maia in her car seat, and began to buckle her in. All of  a sudden she broke into a frown and then let out a painful cry. I looked down and realized that I had pinched her little finger in the buckle. At this point all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and cry.  It was only 10:30 a.m. and I was ready to throw in the towel. 

No Carpet Allowed

I remember the gray carpet in my house growing up being absolutely disgusting. By the time we got rid of it, there were very few patches in it that were actually the original color. We had spilled countless liquids and food items on it, not to mention the beating it took from dirty shoes, school projects involving paint and glue, and dog pee.
The carpet in my house now is beginning to look a lot like the carpet in my house back then. I have realized that carpet serves no purpose in households containing small children. It is actually a thorn in my side. This week alone, my carpet has weathered attacks from vomitted curdled milk, baby prunes spit-up, baby food carrots, spilled orange juice, milk, and formula. I have attempted to clean all these messes up with store-bought carpet cleaner to no avail. When I pick up Maia from her play time on the floor, she smells like carpet cleaner mixed with puke and sour milk. Why do houses even come with carpet anymore? All they do is gather these messes and serve as breeding grounds for germs and nasty smells. I am going on strike against carpet! Anyone want to join me?

Christmas with the Murrays

I am taking a break from cleaning since my husband left to go get us lunch. I have to try and get this post up in a hurry before he gets back...

 Christmas with the Murrays is always a blast, but this year definitely is one that will stand out forever...I think it had something to do with Ricky's mom buying all her grown boys Nerf guns or maybe it was Ricky's dad receiving a Kama Sutra book in the gift exchange...Here are some pictures! 

Our regular attempt at a decent picture of all the Murray children.

The Nerf fight begins. Papa teaching Noah how to aim and fire.
Uncle Brett dodging a bullet
Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Chris double teaming Ricky

A welt on Noah's face from a flying Nerf ball

Uncle Chris showing off Papa's gift exchange gift...courtesy of Ricky. You can always count on Ricky doing something controversial!!! Kayla, wondering why she can't look at it and why everyone was laughing uncontrollably when Papa opened it. Uncle Jimmy deciding which gift he will pick and trying his best not to look at the dirty book! 

P.S. I started this post early this afternoon. It is now 11:15 p.m. and I am so irritated that it has taken me 10 hours and 5 attempts each picture to get this post up. If anyone knows a secret to uploading pictures let me know. 

A Confession Mama Christmas

I've decided that God allows things to happen to me, not only so that He can get a good laugh at my expense but also so that I will have blog material for all of you. Christmas morning is a perfect example of this. 

 Ricky and I were so excited to give Noah his presents this year because he is old enough to grasp the concept of gifts and we knew that he would love what we had bought him. We hid his gifts throughout the house and when he woke up we sent him to find them. He had so much fun looking for all the gifts. Then, we gathered them all by the Christmas tree and he opened them while Maia enjoyed the wrapping paper. Then, he threw up all over them. Yup, you heard me correctly, he vomited all over his gifts and even got some on his baby sister. 

  Right as he finished opening his presents, he told me that his back hurt and I noticed that he was getting pale.  Like any inexperienced mother, I immediately held him and tried to comfort him. (I say "inexperienced" because an experienced mother would have know that he was about  to throw up and would have rushed him over to the sink.) Instantly, I heard him gag and I felt warm liquid pour down my shirt, and all over my leg. The second gag came and I felt more nastiness drench me. I looked down and saw curdled milk all over me, my son, the presents and wrapping paper that surrounded us, and all over Maia. Amidst my son's crying and my near gagging at the sour milk smell, I told Ricky to hurry up and grab the camera so that I'd have pictures for my blog. What can I say? I am a dedicated blogger! 

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I am trying to figure out how to make this post short, but I think it is impossible. So, you'll have to just grab a cup of coffee to keep you awake through this!
Before I tell you about the actual present, I have to tell you how we came up with our baby girl's name. When I was in high school, there was a girl who went to my church who was a few years older than me and who was beautiful both inside and out. Her hearts desire was to see people in other countries come to know the Lord. She worked in our church's mission's department but also was a missionary wherever she went. Her friends loved her and everyone who came in contact with her spoke very highly of her. Words that come to mind when I think of her are genuine, authentic, kind-hearted, gentle, and passionate. I watched her from afar and was inspired by her. Oh, and she is one of those girls who has natural outward beauty. The girl is gorgeous without make-up! I made up my mind back then that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Maia after this particular girl. When Ricky and I found out we were having a baby girl, I knew right away that her name would be Maia.
My baby girl's namesake now lives in another country and I have never told her of my admiration for her or that I named my child after her. However, my babies' surrogate grandmother Pam keeps in contact with her and arranged for her to come to her house and take a picture with my Maia Belle. For Christmas, Pam and Chuck presented me with a picture of Maia with my Maia Belle. It is the most beatiful picture ever and the best Christmas present ever. When I opened it, I cried. I will cherish that picture forever and will use it to explain to my Maia Belle one day why her name is so special. Chuck and Pam, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Frump Girl

The other day my brother was attempting to describe a particular girl to me. He said he could only describe her as "Frump Girl."  Upon hearing that description, immediately a very clear image popped into my head . I pictured a girl who has to resort to wearing dirty clothes out of her hamper because she has not done her laundry in weeks. Every day is a bad hair day for her because she is going through the "growing-out" phase with her hair. You know, when a girl cuts her hair short and then decides that she wants to grow it out again? She has to go through the in-between stage where no matter what she does it looks awful and she can't do anything about it?  "Frump Girl" definitely suffers from the "in-between" phase. She also may be mistaken for a man because of the fuzzy growth on her upper lip...not to mention the forest under her arms. Her nails are un-manicured, uneven, and just plain sad. Not only is she in need of an intense day at the spa, but she is in need of a good 12 hour night of sleep to get rid of the dark circles under her eyes...hey...wait just a minute...why does the "Frump Girl" in my imagination look a lot like...like...me? Oh dear! Do you think Oprah will miraculously read my blog, feel sorry for me, and include me in her next makeover show? Crazier things have happened people.

Room Sharing

I am not a fan of my kids sharing a room. Not a fan at all. I made sure Noah was fast asleep for his nap and then attempted to put Maia down knowing that she is exhausted and would fall asleep fast. I tiptoed out of them room and begged God to please let her go to sleep. As I sit here, my entire body is tense, I guess I think that if I tense up my body and hold my breath it will help her not cry. It's not working. She is doing the tired whine thing and I just heard Noah whine too. Please, please, please God. Please don't let Noah wake up. I need at least 1 hour to wrap presents, do dishes, do my quiet time, pee in peace, have some facebook time, and blog...okay 2 hours would be a really great Christmas present, Lord! 

 Yesterday's sermon was on answered prayer. I am putting it to the test!!! 

P.S. The GP's brought Noah home alive and well with no sign of being pre-diabetic or having early stages of heart disease. His eyeballs were also in tact. 

I Think I May Have a Disorder

There is something wrong with me...I am completely freaking out over something really stupid. Tonight, Ricky and I will be going to my work Christmas party and Noah will be going out with his grandparents to dinner and to see the Christmas lights in Alta Loma. Maia will be staying home with my brother and his girlfriend Jaclyn because she is sick, but also because having her go out too, would send me right over the ledge. So, what is the part that I am freaking out about? This is my Confession blog, so I am just going to come right out and say it...I am freaking out about Noah going out with the GPs without me! What if they feed him unhealthy food? God forbid that he consume french fries, juice, candy, or cookies! The thought is making my stomach turn and my palms sweat. And, what if they don't bundle him up warm enough and he catches pneumonia? What if they let him play with a knife at the restaurant and he pokes his eye out? I know what you're thinking...This girl belongs in the nut house! That's okay if you're thinking that because I know that I belong in the nut house but it still does not help with my anxiety over this trip tonight. They really are good grandparents but I am just being me. I think I may need to drown my fears in some "strong" egg nog if you know what I mean. Do you think anyone will notice if I show up to my church staff Christmas party intoxicated? Okay, maybe not such a good idea. 

Dirty Dancing

So, my son wanted to dance the other day and asked me to put on some music. I found a cable channel that played music and turned on my camera. I must say that I am a little bummed because it looks like my son inherited my dancing abilities...complete lack of rhythm. 

  I posted the second video so you could see what I was referring to in my previous post entitled "Notes to Self." I changed the channel on the TV to a "Dance Music" channel because I felt like it suited the occasion. However as I watched my home video later I realized that the words of the song were inappropriate for my 1 year old. He should not be learning phrases such as "Sexy, can I hit it from the front..." Oops!

P.S. Ignore the mess in the background...we were too busy dancing to clean! 

Trip to Nowhere

 

I have Christmas cards to send out, kids to bathe, and a house to clean, but I am sitting at my computer for some therapy. It's been awhile and I am in need of some blogging. Where do I start...oh how about the snow...or lack thereof.

So, Ricky and I had the bright idea of taking the kids to the snow on Monday...we got an early start and headed out the door at about 9:00 a.m. We stopped at a Wal Mart along the way to get boots for Noah, chains for the truck, gloves for both kids, and some baby food for Maia. Maia and I stayed in the car since it was pouring rain while Ricky and Noah went in for a quick shopping trip. As I am in the middle of my fifth game of Bubble Breaker (on my cell phone) I get a call from Ricky...

Ricky: "Babe, can you look on the tires and tell me the size of them."

Me: "What? You want me to get out of the car in the pouring rain?"

Ricky: "Yeah. How else am I supposed to know what chains to get."

Me: "Argghhh, okay hold on."

I find a towel to put over my head, step out into the down pour. As I get out of the truck, the pile of things that I had on my lap, (scarf, blanket, sippy cup) fall to the wet ground and get soaked. I attempt to hold the towel over my head while picking up the drenched items. By this time, I am not too happy but I pop a squat in front of the tire and finally find the number. It is too long to memorize so I have to do it in two trips. 

  Eventually, Ricky found the right chains, and returned with the items. We piled the stuff into the truck (which was now making me claustrophobic because we had way too much stuff for our quick trip piled in it). As we drove down the 15, I noticed quite a few signs stating that the Cajon Pass was closed. I informed Ricky that we should probably exit the freeway and figure out another way to get to the snow but he insisted on going right up to where it was closed in hopes that the signs were lying and the Cajon Pass was actually open. Needless to say we got stuck in about an hour's worth of traffic and Ricky got my "I told you so" speech and an earful of Maia's screaming but he decided to power through and still attempt to find the snow. 

  The next diversion came in the form of my little princess refusing to drink her room temperature formula. We had to find a Starbucks in a hurry and get hot water for her bottle so that she would stop hurting our ears and let us continue our trip in peace. I got a latte to keep me sane and some hot water for the princess's bottle and climbed into the backseat (where I was unable to put my feet down because of the excessive amounts of stuff) and fed Maia her now warm bottle, while Noah whined for his milk and tugged at my sweater. The whining got old real fast so I multi-tasked: fed Noah his lunch to get him to stop whining, fed Maia her bottle, and tried not to feel claustrophobic or car sick. 

  Finally, we arrived at the windy road that would take us up to Big Bear. We explained to Noah 

that we he would get to play in the snow and that this long car ride would be worth the wait. He was so excited to "pay in the sow?"...Much to my chagrin, we hit a road block about half way up the mountain prior to reaching the snow. We were told that a truck had overturned but that it should be removed within the next 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, I told Ricky that I would rather poke my eyeballs out with a pen than sit there and wait for another minute. He got out of the car in the pouring rain and inquired about the situation. He found out that the wreck would not be cleared for another FIVE HOURS. So, we put our disappointed- bored- out- of their- mind kids back into their carseats and headed home. We spent a total of 5 hours straight in our truck for a trip to nowhere that day and poor Noah is still mystified as to why the heck his Mama and Daddy made such a big deal about this non-existent snow!

  

I have included some pictures of our trip. 

Today's "Notes to Self"

Buy some wire cutters so that I can cut all the wires on the 4 motorcycles that are at the condo across from us. (They decided to have a motorcycle party during the kids' nap time. Nap time and four roaring engines right below the kids' window do not mix)

Next time we search for a house to move into make sure and interview all the surrounding neighbors and ask if any of them are going through a mid-life crisis or are in a motorcycle club/ gang. 

Check Maia's back before changing her diaper to avoid sticking my hand in poop that has travelled up her back and out of her diaper.

Stop saying "Oh Crap" in front of my son when the neighbors piss me off. 

Don't let Noah stand on the foot stool to look out the window at all the motorcycles after he has already fallen off once. The second fall is always worse. 

Buy some non-nursing regular bras. I don't know what those look like since I've been in nursing/ pregnant bras for 2 years straight. 

Don't talk about bras on my blog, I may get blocked for "Adult Content." 

When putting on music for Noah to dance to, make sure the lyrics are clean. He doesn't need to be learning words such as "booty" and "panties."...oh and make sure you are not taking video of him while he is dancing to this music. 

Brush my teeth as soon as I wake up before I get the kids or I'll never brush them.

Get a babysitter and go on a date with my husband tonight so that my kids won't have to go to bed at 5:30 p.m. because they are driving me crazy. 

 

Toilet Talk

I needed to search for inspiration to write today. Life has been pretty serious lately and today I was not feeling like I had anything humorous to write about so I went hunting and I found this photo of my son. 

 He went and found a book and brought it back to his port-a-potty to sit and read it in between grunts...yup, that's right, he pretends like he is going poop while sitting on his potty. How did he know to read while on the pot? I don't read there and neither does Ricky? Hmmmm...

  Notice the excessive stash of toilet paper to his left. Remember my fear of running out of toilet paper? No need to fear, Angel Soft is here! I buy a ton of it and store it right in the middle of my bathroom because I have nowhere to put all of it. It will come in handy when Noah actually starts pooping in his potty...it is right within his reach. I wish I would have had some of that toilet paper in my truck today when I was changing Maia's diaper and got poop on my finger...but that story is for another time and another post. Is the word "poop" considered adult content? If it is, it is no wonder my blog is blocked. I used that word 4 times in this post...okay, I'm done rambling.

This is Not a Porn Site!

Apparently, my blog has been blocked from certain establishments because of "Adult Content." Who knew that baby poop, the word "crap", and me writing about my poor mothering skills would be classified as "Adult Content?" Actually, I really don't know what it is that has me blocked...maybe it's my blog title? Does "Confession Mama" sound sleezy?! Or maybe it is because of my husband's comment in this post. 

All I know is that one of my readers could not access my blog from her work because of its "Adult Content." Then, she told the Pastor of my church who also happens to be my boss who also enjoys a good laugh at the expense of innocent bystanders. He decided to bring up my "Adult Content" filled blog in our church staff meeting in front of everyone. As he brings up our staff policy about purity and not viewing porn, I am thinking, "Oh my gosh, someone is about to get busted in front of everyone. This is awful. Who could it be?" Then, he says, "It should go without saying that since you are expected not to view anything with Adult Content, you should certainly not originate it." "Are you kidding me? Someone on our staff is producing pornography? Who would do such a thing?" Then, he looks right at me and says, "Taleah, the Confession Mama, is the author of some adult content." I could feel my face turn bright red as I thought back through all my blogs as to what could be perceived as "Adult Content." Then, the room broke out in laughter and I realized, it was a joke! Well, kind of...my blog did get blocked because of Adult Content, but I was not getting in trouble because of it. How mean is that?! Anyways, I just wanted to make you all aware that you are viewing an "Adult Blog," according to some extremely conservative website blocker software. 

Too Early?

Although I have recovered from my single mom weekend, these past few days have left me emotionally exhausted and by the time I get home from work, I just want to go crash on the couch and zone out to the t.v.! But you can't do that when you have kids...so I have come up with another solution: 6:15 bed time for my rambunctious children.  I tune out Noah's "not yet" pleas and ignore the extremely confused look on his face as to why he is going to bed so early and why Mama won't let him brush his teeth. I place both babies in their cribs, pray with them, give them a goodnight kiss and listen to them talk and move around in their cribs for awhile while I crash on my couch and catch up on my recorded trash t.v. such as The Hills and The Real Housewives of Orange County. 

  This way-too-early-bedtime has been working wonderfully for me as my children have still been sleeping until 7 the next morning. So, it's a win win situation for them and for me!...okay well there are a couple of not so good things, they both wake up soaking wet because by the time I get them in the morning, they've been in the same diaper for about 13 hours; Noah's teeth will probably be rotten and fall out by the time he is 3; and I feel slightly guilty for watching trash t.v. instead of playing with my kids.

Too Tired

...I was going to post about my morning and about how proud I am of myself for making it to church on time with both babies and all of their stuff, but I am exhausted and the keyboard is getting blurry. Both kids are in their cribs for their naps but neither of them are sleeping since they fell asleep on the way home from church and woke up when I carried them upstairs. Maia is now crying and I don't care. I don't have the energy to feed myself much less try to get my baby to go to sleep, maybe I'll just take a nap here on the keyboard for a few minutes until the neighbors come knocking and asking why my kids are screaming so loud...

Hurry Home

My husband left yesterday afternoon for a 3 day 3 night guys' Glamis trip. I am thinking that right about now it would be in his best interest to return home IMMEDIATELY. If I had a camera I would be taking pictures of my house instead of giving you descriptions but as you may recall from one of my previous posts, I am camera-less because I am losing my mind and everything else as well. Now, back to the subject at hand...Ricky has been gone for 30 hours and here is what my house looks like. The dining room table contains the remnants of my oh so healthy dinner from Carl's Jr. which I consumed at 9:00 p.m., 2 very dirty high chair trays, a dirty bib, a broken Tickle-Me-Elmo, Maia's car seat piled high with three jackets, 2 blankets, and a couple of toys, and of course shoved to the corner of the table you will find my Christmas Center piece. The living room carpet cannot be seen because it is covered with toys and I just realized that I have not watered the Christmas Tree since Ricky left. My kitchen counters are being accessorized by both of the babies' clothing that I found in their diaper bag this morning, dirty dishes, clean-not-yet-put-away dishes, and empty water bottles. The stove contains a full pot of noodle soup that I made for Noah which was much too spicy for him and even for me. The sad thing is that I kept feeding it to him despite his scrunched face and his repeated attempts to tell me it was too spicy for him. I didn't have a plan B for his dinner so I had no other choice (The soup jar was a craft I made in my mom's group. It should have come with a warning. Who would've thought a mom craft would be spicy?).  If  I empty the contents of the pot, then I will have to wash it so I think I'll just leave it there and hope that it disappears by the time I wake up in the morning. My hallway shelf contains tons of folded laundry. My washing machine smells like mildew because I washed the kids' clothes last night and still haven't put them in the dryer. Looks like they will be smelling like mildew for the next couple of weeks. I don't have the energy to wash them again. The babies' room is a complete disaster with clothes both clean and dirty piled high on their changing table, somewhere underneath that pile lies a couple of dirty diapers and the wipes. Both of their cribs are draped with clothes and one damp monkey towel (I only got around to bathing one baby tonight. Maia will have to suffer through being smelly until Ricky comes back). 

  I don't have the energy to describe the scene in my bedroom or the one in the bathroom so I won't and I am sure you get the picture by now. I am not cut out to be a single mother. It has only been 1 day and CPS might as well declare my house "unfit for children" and me unfit for raising children.  Besides forcing my kid to eat spicy food, and not bathing my stinky daughter, I forgot to change both of their diapers earlier today and they both ended up soaking through their pants. Furthermore, the reason why I ate dinner at 9:00 p.m. is because I forgot to eat today, as well as pee. Ricky, if you want to catch me while I have a shred of my sanity left and before CPS pays me a visit and before I contract a bladder infection from forgetting to pee, you better come home NOW!

Another Attempt at the Murray Grandchildren

This time we got a professional to attempt to get a good picture of the 5 Murray grandchildren and this is what we got. The poor Murray Grandparents will never have a decent picture of their grandchildren together, but at least they'll get a good laugh looking through all of our failed attempts. 

Forced Photos

This is what happens when a determined mother forces her children to take a good picture for Christmas. All I want for Christmas is a decent photo of my two children together that I can send to friends and family to show off my perfect little angels! But, nooooo, I bribe and plead and force and jump up and down and whine and make a fool of myself and this is what I have to show for it. I guess that is what I get for having two children 13 months apart and trying to make them sit nicely and smile for a picture when there is a playground with a slide a few yards away. I guess there will be no fooling people into thinking my kids are perfect little angles this year. But, rest assured, I will attempt it again next year with an extra dose of determination.