Goals for 2009

Confession Mama Goals:

1. Never leave my babies unattended on the bed. (Noah has fallen off of it 3 times and Maia 1 time...I think it is about time I make this a resolution!)

2. Break into Mid-Life Crisis Man's house and bash his stereo to smithereens with a baseball bat.

3. Actually send Mid-Life Crisis man a letter asking him to please bring his Mid-Life Crisis ways to an end. 

4. Stop wearing clothes out of my dirty clothes hamper which translates into doing my own laundry more than twice a year. 

5. Stop writing blogs about my anxiety over my kids going out with the GPs. 

6. Vacuum my house more than once a month so Maia doesn't look like I just took her out of a trash can after playing on the floor. 

7. Keep my kid's teeth from falling out by remembering to brush his teeth at least once a day. 

8. Stop ignoring my kids when they try to get my attention while I am blogging.

9. Stop watching trash like "The Real World" which makes me dumber.

Serious Goals

1. Spend time with the Lord daily

2. Pray over my kids out loud daily and be intentional about teaching them about Jesus. 

3. No more "venting"

4. Go on a date night with my hubby twice a month

5. Be intentional about spending time with my friends!

6. Help those who are less fortunate and teach my kids to do the same. I don't want them growing up thinking the world revolves around them. 

7. Do a sprint Trithalon...yikes

8. Read books instead of watching t.v. 

I love the bringing in the New Year even though I don't actually stay up to bring it in...I went to sleep at 10:30 last night! I enjoy the first day of the New Year because it is a time for me to set new goals for myself and just start over. I always anticipate the new adventure the Lord will take me on in the New Year and what He has for me to learn. Life with Him is so exciting! 

Throwing in the Towel

Oh shoot, I just lied to my son...I told him I was working...blogging is working, right? 

The other morning, my day started at 8. I got the kids out of bed changed them, fed them and then sat down to play with them. Sure enough, Noah started grunting and sweating because he was constipated. Great! After about 20 minutes of his painful grunting, I decided to step in as only mom's will do. I set him on his changing table and aided him in pooping...I won't go into details to save you all from losing your breakfast. During this process, he was in so much pain that he threw up all over the place. I cleaned him up and threw him in the bath tub. 

  Seeing my son in that much pain, then having to dig out poop and clean up vomit took it's toll on me and I was feeling emotionally worn out. I decided that I would get myself ready in hopes that it would give my spirit a lift. A little make-up and a flat iron, always gives me a boost. I left Noah with his toys in the living room and placed Maia on my bed to watch me get ready. Bad idea... As I was applying concealer, I looked over to see what Maia was doing. She was on the very edge of the bed and on her way off of it. It all happened in slow motion. I threw my make-up and ran for the bed as she slowly made her way off the bed toward the floor. I yelled, "Maaaaiaaa, nooooo." And flung my arms out to catch her. I missed. She hit the floor and let out a huge cry. I picked her up and wondered if God regretted giving me two of His children to care for. I held Maia for awhile and moved all her limbs to make sure she wasn't broken. I finished getting ready and got the kids ready to go to the market. I set Maia in her car seat, and began to buckle her in. All of  a sudden she broke into a frown and then let out a painful cry. I looked down and realized that I had pinched her little finger in the buckle. At this point all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and cry.  It was only 10:30 a.m. and I was ready to throw in the towel. 

No Carpet Allowed

I remember the gray carpet in my house growing up being absolutely disgusting. By the time we got rid of it, there were very few patches in it that were actually the original color. We had spilled countless liquids and food items on it, not to mention the beating it took from dirty shoes, school projects involving paint and glue, and dog pee.
The carpet in my house now is beginning to look a lot like the carpet in my house back then. I have realized that carpet serves no purpose in households containing small children. It is actually a thorn in my side. This week alone, my carpet has weathered attacks from vomitted curdled milk, baby prunes spit-up, baby food carrots, spilled orange juice, milk, and formula. I have attempted to clean all these messes up with store-bought carpet cleaner to no avail. When I pick up Maia from her play time on the floor, she smells like carpet cleaner mixed with puke and sour milk. Why do houses even come with carpet anymore? All they do is gather these messes and serve as breeding grounds for germs and nasty smells. I am going on strike against carpet! Anyone want to join me?

Christmas with the Murrays

I am taking a break from cleaning since my husband left to go get us lunch. I have to try and get this post up in a hurry before he gets back...

 Christmas with the Murrays is always a blast, but this year definitely is one that will stand out forever...I think it had something to do with Ricky's mom buying all her grown boys Nerf guns or maybe it was Ricky's dad receiving a Kama Sutra book in the gift exchange...Here are some pictures! 

Our regular attempt at a decent picture of all the Murray children.

The Nerf fight begins. Papa teaching Noah how to aim and fire.
Uncle Brett dodging a bullet
Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Chris double teaming Ricky

A welt on Noah's face from a flying Nerf ball

Uncle Chris showing off Papa's gift exchange gift...courtesy of Ricky. You can always count on Ricky doing something controversial!!! Kayla, wondering why she can't look at it and why everyone was laughing uncontrollably when Papa opened it. Uncle Jimmy deciding which gift he will pick and trying his best not to look at the dirty book! 

P.S. I started this post early this afternoon. It is now 11:15 p.m. and I am so irritated that it has taken me 10 hours and 5 attempts each picture to get this post up. If anyone knows a secret to uploading pictures let me know. 

A Confession Mama Christmas

I've decided that God allows things to happen to me, not only so that He can get a good laugh at my expense but also so that I will have blog material for all of you. Christmas morning is a perfect example of this. 

 Ricky and I were so excited to give Noah his presents this year because he is old enough to grasp the concept of gifts and we knew that he would love what we had bought him. We hid his gifts throughout the house and when he woke up we sent him to find them. He had so much fun looking for all the gifts. Then, we gathered them all by the Christmas tree and he opened them while Maia enjoyed the wrapping paper. Then, he threw up all over them. Yup, you heard me correctly, he vomited all over his gifts and even got some on his baby sister. 

  Right as he finished opening his presents, he told me that his back hurt and I noticed that he was getting pale.  Like any inexperienced mother, I immediately held him and tried to comfort him. (I say "inexperienced" because an experienced mother would have know that he was about  to throw up and would have rushed him over to the sink.) Instantly, I heard him gag and I felt warm liquid pour down my shirt, and all over my leg. The second gag came and I felt more nastiness drench me. I looked down and saw curdled milk all over me, my son, the presents and wrapping paper that surrounded us, and all over Maia. Amidst my son's crying and my near gagging at the sour milk smell, I told Ricky to hurry up and grab the camera so that I'd have pictures for my blog. What can I say? I am a dedicated blogger! 

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I am trying to figure out how to make this post short, but I think it is impossible. So, you'll have to just grab a cup of coffee to keep you awake through this!
Before I tell you about the actual present, I have to tell you how we came up with our baby girl's name. When I was in high school, there was a girl who went to my church who was a few years older than me and who was beautiful both inside and out. Her hearts desire was to see people in other countries come to know the Lord. She worked in our church's mission's department but also was a missionary wherever she went. Her friends loved her and everyone who came in contact with her spoke very highly of her. Words that come to mind when I think of her are genuine, authentic, kind-hearted, gentle, and passionate. I watched her from afar and was inspired by her. Oh, and she is one of those girls who has natural outward beauty. The girl is gorgeous without make-up! I made up my mind back then that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Maia after this particular girl. When Ricky and I found out we were having a baby girl, I knew right away that her name would be Maia.
My baby girl's namesake now lives in another country and I have never told her of my admiration for her or that I named my child after her. However, my babies' surrogate grandmother Pam keeps in contact with her and arranged for her to come to her house and take a picture with my Maia Belle. For Christmas, Pam and Chuck presented me with a picture of Maia with my Maia Belle. It is the most beatiful picture ever and the best Christmas present ever. When I opened it, I cried. I will cherish that picture forever and will use it to explain to my Maia Belle one day why her name is so special. Chuck and Pam, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Frump Girl

The other day my brother was attempting to describe a particular girl to me. He said he could only describe her as "Frump Girl."  Upon hearing that description, immediately a very clear image popped into my head . I pictured a girl who has to resort to wearing dirty clothes out of her hamper because she has not done her laundry in weeks. Every day is a bad hair day for her because she is going through the "growing-out" phase with her hair. You know, when a girl cuts her hair short and then decides that she wants to grow it out again? She has to go through the in-between stage where no matter what she does it looks awful and she can't do anything about it?  "Frump Girl" definitely suffers from the "in-between" phase. She also may be mistaken for a man because of the fuzzy growth on her upper lip...not to mention the forest under her arms. Her nails are un-manicured, uneven, and just plain sad. Not only is she in need of an intense day at the spa, but she is in need of a good 12 hour night of sleep to get rid of the dark circles under her eyes...hey...wait just a minute...why does the "Frump Girl" in my imagination look a lot like...like...me? Oh dear! Do you think Oprah will miraculously read my blog, feel sorry for me, and include me in her next makeover show? Crazier things have happened people.

Room Sharing

I am not a fan of my kids sharing a room. Not a fan at all. I made sure Noah was fast asleep for his nap and then attempted to put Maia down knowing that she is exhausted and would fall asleep fast. I tiptoed out of them room and begged God to please let her go to sleep. As I sit here, my entire body is tense, I guess I think that if I tense up my body and hold my breath it will help her not cry. It's not working. She is doing the tired whine thing and I just heard Noah whine too. Please, please, please God. Please don't let Noah wake up. I need at least 1 hour to wrap presents, do dishes, do my quiet time, pee in peace, have some facebook time, and blog...okay 2 hours would be a really great Christmas present, Lord! 

 Yesterday's sermon was on answered prayer. I am putting it to the test!!! 

P.S. The GP's brought Noah home alive and well with no sign of being pre-diabetic or having early stages of heart disease. His eyeballs were also in tact. 

I Think I May Have a Disorder

There is something wrong with me...I am completely freaking out over something really stupid. Tonight, Ricky and I will be going to my work Christmas party and Noah will be going out with his grandparents to dinner and to see the Christmas lights in Alta Loma. Maia will be staying home with my brother and his girlfriend Jaclyn because she is sick, but also because having her go out too, would send me right over the ledge. So, what is the part that I am freaking out about? This is my Confession blog, so I am just going to come right out and say it...I am freaking out about Noah going out with the GPs without me! What if they feed him unhealthy food? God forbid that he consume french fries, juice, candy, or cookies! The thought is making my stomach turn and my palms sweat. And, what if they don't bundle him up warm enough and he catches pneumonia? What if they let him play with a knife at the restaurant and he pokes his eye out? I know what you're thinking...This girl belongs in the nut house! That's okay if you're thinking that because I know that I belong in the nut house but it still does not help with my anxiety over this trip tonight. They really are good grandparents but I am just being me. I think I may need to drown my fears in some "strong" egg nog if you know what I mean. Do you think anyone will notice if I show up to my church staff Christmas party intoxicated? Okay, maybe not such a good idea. 

Dirty Dancing

So, my son wanted to dance the other day and asked me to put on some music. I found a cable channel that played music and turned on my camera. I must say that I am a little bummed because it looks like my son inherited my dancing abilities...complete lack of rhythm. 

  I posted the second video so you could see what I was referring to in my previous post entitled "Notes to Self." I changed the channel on the TV to a "Dance Music" channel because I felt like it suited the occasion. However as I watched my home video later I realized that the words of the song were inappropriate for my 1 year old. He should not be learning phrases such as "Sexy, can I hit it from the front..." Oops!

P.S. Ignore the mess in the background...we were too busy dancing to clean! 

Trip to Nowhere

 

I have Christmas cards to send out, kids to bathe, and a house to clean, but I am sitting at my computer for some therapy. It's been awhile and I am in need of some blogging. Where do I start...oh how about the snow...or lack thereof.

So, Ricky and I had the bright idea of taking the kids to the snow on Monday...we got an early start and headed out the door at about 9:00 a.m. We stopped at a Wal Mart along the way to get boots for Noah, chains for the truck, gloves for both kids, and some baby food for Maia. Maia and I stayed in the car since it was pouring rain while Ricky and Noah went in for a quick shopping trip. As I am in the middle of my fifth game of Bubble Breaker (on my cell phone) I get a call from Ricky...

Ricky: "Babe, can you look on the tires and tell me the size of them."

Me: "What? You want me to get out of the car in the pouring rain?"

Ricky: "Yeah. How else am I supposed to know what chains to get."

Me: "Argghhh, okay hold on."

I find a towel to put over my head, step out into the down pour. As I get out of the truck, the pile of things that I had on my lap, (scarf, blanket, sippy cup) fall to the wet ground and get soaked. I attempt to hold the towel over my head while picking up the drenched items. By this time, I am not too happy but I pop a squat in front of the tire and finally find the number. It is too long to memorize so I have to do it in two trips. 

  Eventually, Ricky found the right chains, and returned with the items. We piled the stuff into the truck (which was now making me claustrophobic because we had way too much stuff for our quick trip piled in it). As we drove down the 15, I noticed quite a few signs stating that the Cajon Pass was closed. I informed Ricky that we should probably exit the freeway and figure out another way to get to the snow but he insisted on going right up to where it was closed in hopes that the signs were lying and the Cajon Pass was actually open. Needless to say we got stuck in about an hour's worth of traffic and Ricky got my "I told you so" speech and an earful of Maia's screaming but he decided to power through and still attempt to find the snow. 

  The next diversion came in the form of my little princess refusing to drink her room temperature formula. We had to find a Starbucks in a hurry and get hot water for her bottle so that she would stop hurting our ears and let us continue our trip in peace. I got a latte to keep me sane and some hot water for the princess's bottle and climbed into the backseat (where I was unable to put my feet down because of the excessive amounts of stuff) and fed Maia her now warm bottle, while Noah whined for his milk and tugged at my sweater. The whining got old real fast so I multi-tasked: fed Noah his lunch to get him to stop whining, fed Maia her bottle, and tried not to feel claustrophobic or car sick. 

  Finally, we arrived at the windy road that would take us up to Big Bear. We explained to Noah 

that we he would get to play in the snow and that this long car ride would be worth the wait. He was so excited to "pay in the sow?"...Much to my chagrin, we hit a road block about half way up the mountain prior to reaching the snow. We were told that a truck had overturned but that it should be removed within the next 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, I told Ricky that I would rather poke my eyeballs out with a pen than sit there and wait for another minute. He got out of the car in the pouring rain and inquired about the situation. He found out that the wreck would not be cleared for another FIVE HOURS. So, we put our disappointed- bored- out- of their- mind kids back into their carseats and headed home. We spent a total of 5 hours straight in our truck for a trip to nowhere that day and poor Noah is still mystified as to why the heck his Mama and Daddy made such a big deal about this non-existent snow!

  

I have included some pictures of our trip. 

Today's "Notes to Self"

Buy some wire cutters so that I can cut all the wires on the 4 motorcycles that are at the condo across from us. (They decided to have a motorcycle party during the kids' nap time. Nap time and four roaring engines right below the kids' window do not mix)

Next time we search for a house to move into make sure and interview all the surrounding neighbors and ask if any of them are going through a mid-life crisis or are in a motorcycle club/ gang. 

Check Maia's back before changing her diaper to avoid sticking my hand in poop that has travelled up her back and out of her diaper.

Stop saying "Oh Crap" in front of my son when the neighbors piss me off. 

Don't let Noah stand on the foot stool to look out the window at all the motorcycles after he has already fallen off once. The second fall is always worse. 

Buy some non-nursing regular bras. I don't know what those look like since I've been in nursing/ pregnant bras for 2 years straight. 

Don't talk about bras on my blog, I may get blocked for "Adult Content." 

When putting on music for Noah to dance to, make sure the lyrics are clean. He doesn't need to be learning words such as "booty" and "panties."...oh and make sure you are not taking video of him while he is dancing to this music. 

Brush my teeth as soon as I wake up before I get the kids or I'll never brush them.

Get a babysitter and go on a date with my husband tonight so that my kids won't have to go to bed at 5:30 p.m. because they are driving me crazy. 

 

Toilet Talk

I needed to search for inspiration to write today. Life has been pretty serious lately and today I was not feeling like I had anything humorous to write about so I went hunting and I found this photo of my son. 

 He went and found a book and brought it back to his port-a-potty to sit and read it in between grunts...yup, that's right, he pretends like he is going poop while sitting on his potty. How did he know to read while on the pot? I don't read there and neither does Ricky? Hmmmm...

  Notice the excessive stash of toilet paper to his left. Remember my fear of running out of toilet paper? No need to fear, Angel Soft is here! I buy a ton of it and store it right in the middle of my bathroom because I have nowhere to put all of it. It will come in handy when Noah actually starts pooping in his potty...it is right within his reach. I wish I would have had some of that toilet paper in my truck today when I was changing Maia's diaper and got poop on my finger...but that story is for another time and another post. Is the word "poop" considered adult content? If it is, it is no wonder my blog is blocked. I used that word 4 times in this post...okay, I'm done rambling.

This is Not a Porn Site!

Apparently, my blog has been blocked from certain establishments because of "Adult Content." Who knew that baby poop, the word "crap", and me writing about my poor mothering skills would be classified as "Adult Content?" Actually, I really don't know what it is that has me blocked...maybe it's my blog title? Does "Confession Mama" sound sleezy?! Or maybe it is because of my husband's comment in this post. 

All I know is that one of my readers could not access my blog from her work because of its "Adult Content." Then, she told the Pastor of my church who also happens to be my boss who also enjoys a good laugh at the expense of innocent bystanders. He decided to bring up my "Adult Content" filled blog in our church staff meeting in front of everyone. As he brings up our staff policy about purity and not viewing porn, I am thinking, "Oh my gosh, someone is about to get busted in front of everyone. This is awful. Who could it be?" Then, he says, "It should go without saying that since you are expected not to view anything with Adult Content, you should certainly not originate it." "Are you kidding me? Someone on our staff is producing pornography? Who would do such a thing?" Then, he looks right at me and says, "Taleah, the Confession Mama, is the author of some adult content." I could feel my face turn bright red as I thought back through all my blogs as to what could be perceived as "Adult Content." Then, the room broke out in laughter and I realized, it was a joke! Well, kind of...my blog did get blocked because of Adult Content, but I was not getting in trouble because of it. How mean is that?! Anyways, I just wanted to make you all aware that you are viewing an "Adult Blog," according to some extremely conservative website blocker software. 

Too Early?

Although I have recovered from my single mom weekend, these past few days have left me emotionally exhausted and by the time I get home from work, I just want to go crash on the couch and zone out to the t.v.! But you can't do that when you have kids...so I have come up with another solution: 6:15 bed time for my rambunctious children.  I tune out Noah's "not yet" pleas and ignore the extremely confused look on his face as to why he is going to bed so early and why Mama won't let him brush his teeth. I place both babies in their cribs, pray with them, give them a goodnight kiss and listen to them talk and move around in their cribs for awhile while I crash on my couch and catch up on my recorded trash t.v. such as The Hills and The Real Housewives of Orange County. 

  This way-too-early-bedtime has been working wonderfully for me as my children have still been sleeping until 7 the next morning. So, it's a win win situation for them and for me!...okay well there are a couple of not so good things, they both wake up soaking wet because by the time I get them in the morning, they've been in the same diaper for about 13 hours; Noah's teeth will probably be rotten and fall out by the time he is 3; and I feel slightly guilty for watching trash t.v. instead of playing with my kids.

Too Tired

...I was going to post about my morning and about how proud I am of myself for making it to church on time with both babies and all of their stuff, but I am exhausted and the keyboard is getting blurry. Both kids are in their cribs for their naps but neither of them are sleeping since they fell asleep on the way home from church and woke up when I carried them upstairs. Maia is now crying and I don't care. I don't have the energy to feed myself much less try to get my baby to go to sleep, maybe I'll just take a nap here on the keyboard for a few minutes until the neighbors come knocking and asking why my kids are screaming so loud...

Hurry Home

My husband left yesterday afternoon for a 3 day 3 night guys' Glamis trip. I am thinking that right about now it would be in his best interest to return home IMMEDIATELY. If I had a camera I would be taking pictures of my house instead of giving you descriptions but as you may recall from one of my previous posts, I am camera-less because I am losing my mind and everything else as well. Now, back to the subject at hand...Ricky has been gone for 30 hours and here is what my house looks like. The dining room table contains the remnants of my oh so healthy dinner from Carl's Jr. which I consumed at 9:00 p.m., 2 very dirty high chair trays, a dirty bib, a broken Tickle-Me-Elmo, Maia's car seat piled high with three jackets, 2 blankets, and a couple of toys, and of course shoved to the corner of the table you will find my Christmas Center piece. The living room carpet cannot be seen because it is covered with toys and I just realized that I have not watered the Christmas Tree since Ricky left. My kitchen counters are being accessorized by both of the babies' clothing that I found in their diaper bag this morning, dirty dishes, clean-not-yet-put-away dishes, and empty water bottles. The stove contains a full pot of noodle soup that I made for Noah which was much too spicy for him and even for me. The sad thing is that I kept feeding it to him despite his scrunched face and his repeated attempts to tell me it was too spicy for him. I didn't have a plan B for his dinner so I had no other choice (The soup jar was a craft I made in my mom's group. It should have come with a warning. Who would've thought a mom craft would be spicy?).  If  I empty the contents of the pot, then I will have to wash it so I think I'll just leave it there and hope that it disappears by the time I wake up in the morning. My hallway shelf contains tons of folded laundry. My washing machine smells like mildew because I washed the kids' clothes last night and still haven't put them in the dryer. Looks like they will be smelling like mildew for the next couple of weeks. I don't have the energy to wash them again. The babies' room is a complete disaster with clothes both clean and dirty piled high on their changing table, somewhere underneath that pile lies a couple of dirty diapers and the wipes. Both of their cribs are draped with clothes and one damp monkey towel (I only got around to bathing one baby tonight. Maia will have to suffer through being smelly until Ricky comes back). 

  I don't have the energy to describe the scene in my bedroom or the one in the bathroom so I won't and I am sure you get the picture by now. I am not cut out to be a single mother. It has only been 1 day and CPS might as well declare my house "unfit for children" and me unfit for raising children.  Besides forcing my kid to eat spicy food, and not bathing my stinky daughter, I forgot to change both of their diapers earlier today and they both ended up soaking through their pants. Furthermore, the reason why I ate dinner at 9:00 p.m. is because I forgot to eat today, as well as pee. Ricky, if you want to catch me while I have a shred of my sanity left and before CPS pays me a visit and before I contract a bladder infection from forgetting to pee, you better come home NOW!

Another Attempt at the Murray Grandchildren

This time we got a professional to attempt to get a good picture of the 5 Murray grandchildren and this is what we got. The poor Murray Grandparents will never have a decent picture of their grandchildren together, but at least they'll get a good laugh looking through all of our failed attempts. 

Forced Photos

This is what happens when a determined mother forces her children to take a good picture for Christmas. All I want for Christmas is a decent photo of my two children together that I can send to friends and family to show off my perfect little angels! But, nooooo, I bribe and plead and force and jump up and down and whine and make a fool of myself and this is what I have to show for it. I guess that is what I get for having two children 13 months apart and trying to make them sit nicely and smile for a picture when there is a playground with a slide a few yards away. I guess there will be no fooling people into thinking my kids are perfect little angles this year. But, rest assured, I will attempt it again next year with an extra dose of determination.

Has Anyone Seen My Brain?

There is something wrong with me...I think I am losing my mind...and I am blaming my children for this loss. I've been super forgetful as of late and it is starting to make me really angry with myself. On, Thursday, I left my purse at my mother's house after celebrating Thanksgiving there. She called me to let me know, but my phone was in my purse which means I didn't have a clue until 4:00 a.m. on Black Friday rolled around and I got the inclination to go shopping since I couldn't seem to sleep. After searching everywhere for my purse, I reluctantly returned to counting sheep and wondering if I was losing my mind.  Then, after another family gathering on Saturday, Ricky received a call from his Aunt letting us know that I left our camera at her house and since she lives really far away from us, it won't be a quick and easy return. Moving right along to today, I left my purse at church and thank God realized it right before driving away. 

  How hard is it to remember a purse and a camera and many other things which would take much too long to list here, you may ask? VERY HARD, when you have two babies. You see babies do not make for traveling light. Wherever we go, I have to make a mental checklist of meals for two babies, milk, formula, toys, 2 changes of clothes, about 12 diapers (two different sizes), a nighttime diaper if we go somewhere late, sun block for summer, blankets, sweaters, snacks, a camera, wipes, pacifiers, and my purse. Most of the time, I forget to bring a sweater for myself and end up freezing unless it is summer time. When I am toting all of that stuff in an over sized ginormous diaper bag and pushing my behemoth double wide with two children, it is easy to forget things because no matter what I forget, I still feel like I am carrying a house! So there you have it, I am losing my mind, but it's okay because I have an excuse!

Good-Bye Thanksgiving and Hello Christmas!!!

I don't think I've ever been in such a rush to get Thanksgiving over with! To tell you the truth, I usually love Thanksgiving as much as I love Christmas, but this year is different.  I've realized that life itself is so much more colorful and vibrant once you have children. My friend Angela says that once you have kids you see life in color instead of in black and white. I find that to be so evident as Christmas approaches. I get to start my own traditions that my children will look forward to every year, I get to teach my children about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas, I get to watch Noah's eyes light up when he sees Christmas lights on peoples' houses no matter how simple, and I get to watch him get excited about Santa Claus even though he has no clue who Santa is! I am giddy as I write this post thinking about how Noah will react when he wakes up from his nap and sees the Christmas tree that daddy set up while he was sleeping and all the other decorations that mommy put up. I know that he will be fascinated by the garland on the mantle and the little Santa Claus holding up his stalking. He will marvel at the tree itself and the lights that garnish it.  I am also excited that we got the flashing lights for our tree because they will hypnotize Maia and keep her entranced so I can get stuff done around here!

  Even though, I am sure that in the near future I will be telling you how Noah knocked our tree down and ended up cutting himself with a shattered bulb, I thank God for my children and the joy that they bring to my life this Christmas season. I am so blessed to have the privilege of seeing the world in color. 

Ricky's Purse

I'm really not into man purses but today my son broadened my views on the "murse" (man-purse).  This morning Ricky was getting ready to go dirt-bike riding with his brothers. He loaded up his massive dirt-covered (equivalent to a medium suitcase) dirt-bike riding gear bag with his boots, pants, shirt, helmet, and protective gear and lugged it down stairs and into his big manly truck. Upon his return upstairs, Noah who was waiting for him at the top of the stairs with a puzzled look on his face, threw out his arms in a questioning manner and asked "Whey is daddy's purse?" I couldn't help but burst out in uncontrollable laughter which caused my husband to shoot me a murderous glance and tell me he was going to kill me for telling my son that his macho dirt bike bag was a purse. I was laughing too hard to respond but once I gathered myself, I assured him that I did not tell our son that daddy has a purse. In Noah's little mind he figured that the bag that Mama carries on her shoulder is her purse so the bag that daddy carries on his shoulder must be his purse. Duh! It makes logical sense daddy! Maybe I can embroider the letters LV on it and make it a fake Louis Vuitton. Hmmmm...I might be onto something. I think the dirt-biking crowd would totally buy into my "murse" idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get to work on my idea before one of you tries to steal it.

Kids + Christmas Shopping = Disaster

This morning I thought I'd take advantage of the great sales at Kohls and got up early to get myself ready and get the kids out the door. The getting ready part is a story all by itself, but I'll spare you the details. 

  I decided to take the single stroller instead of my double wide because it is quite embarrassing trying to push a double-wide through those clothing aisles. I put Maia in the stroller and had Noah walk beside me. Of course on our way into the store, Noah stepped in front of the stroller and I crashed into him.  He fell and got black stains all over his shorts. Great! We hadn't even stepped foot into the store and I already had a crying kid (whom I injured) with dirty clothes on at 9:00 in the morning. Maybe the double wide was the way to go. The first thing Noah spotted when we walked in was a Curious George stuffed animal which he asked to hold (this is our routine when shopping. He finds something to carry around with him for the duration of the shopping trip and then puts it back before we check out). I let him hold it but realized that I would have to keep an eye not only on my son but on the Curious George doll as well, because when Noah spots something else that he wants he attempts to stuff the doll in the pocket underneath the stroller, and if I don't remember that it is there before we leave the store the beepy thing will beep as we leave and I will get arrested in front of my two kids for attempting to steal a Curious George doll but I digress...We headed to the kids clothing and toy section and I looked for items for my nieces and nephew while calling out Noah's name every two seconds to make sure nobody had taken him and that he was not knocking over any of the mannequins. He is fascinated by mannequins.  He periodically would come over with a new stuffed animal and put in the stroller and I would ask hi to put it back.  As is always the case, about 20 minutes into my shopping experience, Maia Belle started crying and would not take the pacifier. I realized that I didn't have time to be picky and grabbed a few items that I thought would work while receiving "shut-that-kid-up looks" from people. As I searched the clothing section for one last thing, I heard loud grunting from a few clothing racks over. My constipated son had gotten the urge to go poop at that moment and was grunting like a grown man benching 500 lbs and and saying "poop, puuuuush" in between grunts. I couldn't really shush him because he needs all the help he can get to poop. So, I just let him hold on to my legs for leverage and grunt away while my other child continued her screaming. When his urge to go passed, I took Maia out of the stroller and put Noah in it to give everyone in the store a much needed break from her crying and to keep Noah from grabbing anymore stuffed animals and placing them randomly all around the store. I checked the pocket in  the bottom of the stroller for any loot that Noah might have stashed there and I headed up to the register. The problem was trying  to maneuver with one hand my stroller  which had 4 bags hanging from the handles and an unbuckled kid in it. Many clothes racks were crashed into and stuffed animals run over on my way up to the front. But, we made it, I paid and we headed home. When we got home, I changed the kids, fed them lunch, cleaned up a huge spill (courtesy of my son), and put them down for their naps. Then I went to check out the presents I bought...OH CRAP! What was I thinking? The clothes I bought are really not that cute at all and the toy that I got for my 4 year-old-nephew says for ages 8 and up! Looks like the gift receipts will be put to good use. Moral of the story: Don't go shopping with your kids. It makes for a super stressful experience and poor taste and judgement. 

Random Confessions

One of my biggest pet peeves is picky eaters...I know that sounds mean but it's true.

One of my biggest fears is running out of toilet paper at my house. There is no place to store the excessive amount of toilet paper that I purchase on  weekly basis.

I was craving buffalo wing sauce a few minutes ago and since it is not something you can consume by itself and I really had nothing with which to eat it, I pulled out the left over fried rice I made last night and poured buffalo wing sauce on it and ate it...my husband might never speak to me again because he was so disgusted. I satisfied my craving and I have no regrets.

I still get really irritated when people feed my son things that are processed or contain sugar. For some reason people feel that I have lightened up on this issue, but I haven't. 

At the time my babies were born, I thought that they were so cute and beautiful...now, when I look back at pictures, I realize that I was blinded to their not-so-cuteness and that they really weren't cute newborns at all! 

I am sad that the Making the Band 3 girls (Danity Kane) broke up. I loved watching Making the Band only because of them! What lame reality show am I going to replace that with?

I have no idea what to get my husband for Christmas and I really need to redeem myself since I got him absolutely NOTHING for his birthday. I am so bad at getting gifts and am very stressed out about this.

I wish I could afford to buy a Starbucks Latte every day twice a day. A little piece of heaven for me would be starting my day and ending it with a Starbucks latte.

I feel a little sick now from my buffalo wing sauce smothered fried rice. 

 

Inappropriate Owies

Okay, quick post...My kisses are magical! My son thinks that mama's kisses heal any "owie" that he may have. Sometimes I have to kiss it several times because the scab lasts for days and so he remembers it daily and asks me to kiss it. I think it's so cute how after I kiss him, he says "all better." Lately though my kisses have had to take a backseat to Elmo's kisses. Now when he gets hurt he says, "Elmo kiss Wo-wah's owie?"
This morning as I was changing my son's diaper I noticed a bit of a diaper rash, and Noah scrunched his face and said "Butt hurt. Mama kiss it?" Oh crap! Why couldn't Elmo take care of this one? Needless to say, I did not kiss that particular owie and tried to ignore his repeated requests for me to kiss his little behind. My husband, of course, got a kick out of this and told Noah to ask "Pub" to kiss his owie when he got to her house. Poor Pam! Maybe she'll be able to explain to my 1 year old why we can't kiss his butt owie. Moral of the story: Don't let your kids think that your kisses heal their owies, it could get ugly.

My Wo-wah

This is my little man! He calls himself "Wo-wah" and talks in the third person unless he gets really excited about doing something by himself, then he says "I did it." He has such a tender heart already and loves all three sets of grandparents ("Guck" and "Bup" are the third set) and all his aunts and uncles to pieces. My heart is so thankful that my little boy is surrounded by so much love. Although, he has whining issues and on rare occasion selective hearing, overall he is good boy. He is very clever and observant listening to everything that people say around him and surprising us by repeating things weeks after hearing them. For example, his favorite song is "Undignified" by David Crowder which he calls "Ya Ya." A couple of week ago, after listening to the "Ya Ya" song twenty times in a row, I tell him that we are going to listen to song #2 instead to give myself a break from the monotony. Then, yesterday on our way home, he asks for "Ya Ya." I tell him that mommy does not want to listen to the "Ya Ya" song right now and he says, "Song number 2?" I was shocked that he remembered and I put on song #2 for my little genius! He tries really hard to put phrases together and makes me feel like I have a pet parrot repeating everything that comes out of my mouth. Upon hearing him repeat the words "crap" and "stupid," I've made mental notes to clean up my potty mouth. 

  He loves his baby sister and makes sure she never gets left behind when we go anywhere! He also is protective of her and gets a little uncomfortable when people he does not know hold her. He loves to hang out with her in her crib and make her laugh. We are working on his tendencies to steal her toys from her and eat her food. 

 I am so thankful for my little curly-haired cherub and I love him so very much. I pray that he will grow up to be very secure in who he is in the Lord and will not feel the need to be like the world. I pray that God will be very real to him and that he falls in love with Jesus like I have. I ask God to protect him from harm and to give me the wisdom to raise my little boy to be a man of God who will lead his own family some day. I pray for God to use my Noah in a mighty way to change people's lives. He has already brought so much joy to those closest to him and I pray that he will continue to do so to many others throughout his life. Thank you Lord for my precious Wo-wah. 

Yuck

I've had quite an eventful morning so far. Kids make life very entertaining. My life must have been very boring and sanitary before kids, but I really don't remember. 

As those of you who are mommies know, going to the bathroom is a group event. This morning Noah followed me as usual into the bathroom saying "mama pee pee." I can always count on my son for a play by play. As I grabbed the toilet paper Noah says "paper" (he sounds French when he says this word) and "wipe" and grabs for some toilet paper himself. I let him have a square and he wants to throw it in the toilet so I get up and tell him to throw it in...surprise, surprise, another rookie mom move by yours truly. My son throws the paper along with his hand into the pee-filled toilet. I scream and grab his arm to immediately stop him from contaminating anything especially his mouth. Of course the bathroom sink has Maia's bath tub and toys in it so I can't wash his hands there. I lift him with my free arm and shuffle my way (pants still around my knees) to the kitchen sink as Noah shouts, "Yucky, yucky, wash it!" I pour the entire bottle of soap onto his little hand and proceed to burn him with the extremely hot water to make sure I kill all the germs...okay I didn't really burn him, but he thought the water was hot. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and finally rinsed and dried him off. I think I might have reacted a little strongly because he was scared of his own hand for the rest of the morning. Oh well, hopefully I scared him enough so that he won't ever stick his hand in the toilet again! 

My Excessive Pee-er

I have a problem...my son pees way too much. Lately he has been peeing through his diapers and last night he peed so much that his nighttime diaper exploded. So, we had to change his sheets and clean off all of those little crystals (the stuff that is supposed to soak up the pee) off of the poor kid. What a mess! Yesterday, "Bup" said he peed through two of his diapers and Noah let her know that he was a little disturbed that his shorts were wet. Now the question is: What is the solution to the problem?
1.) Stop giving him liquids altogether. He does drink a lot of water. CPS alert! They would come take him away for sure if I dehydrated my child for the purpose of keeping him dry.
2.) Put him in adult diapers. Are Depends more expensive than baby diapers?
3.) Potty Train him...this might drive me into the insane asylum.

Oh dear! What am I supposed to do?

A Smelly Day

Today seems to have a theme and the theme is Nasty Smells. This morning when I went to get Maia Belle out of her crib, she was soaked with pee and smelled really strongly of chemicals...I can liken it to a gallon of Desitin diaper rash cream. However I do not use diaper rash cream on her so I do not know why her pee smells so bad.  

The next smell kind of veers from the theme just a little bit. I went to Wal Mart to buy groceries because my neighbor told me that I would save a ton of money.  In the produce section I looked for cilantro which is a staple food in my house and when I found it, it smelled like nothing. If you are familiar with cilantro, you know that it has a really strong fresh herbal smell to it. The stronger the smell, the better the cilantro. I must have stood there for 5 minutes picking up every bunch of cilantro and holding to my nose to smell it. People probably thought I was a drug addict fiending for drugs but settling for snorting cilantro. To my surprise and dismay, out of all 50 bunches, I found none that put off any sort of cilantro odor. Was it fake? Or is this just the quality of Wal Mart food? I bought it anyways. 

 The next odor involves Maia Belle again...poor girl. Before putting her down for her afternoon nap, I caught a whiff of the nastiness that dwelt in her diaper. You would think that the girl had eaten a gallon of spicy chili from how bad her diaper smelled. It was so bad that I gagged while changing her and to make matters worse, she was not yet done, and pooped more while I was in the middle of changing her. 

 Can you handle the last of my theme stories...while putting the groceries from Wal Mart away, my sense of smell was piqued again. As I smelled each of the things I was putting away, I found the culprit to be the chicken I had purchased. I think my nose hairs were singed by the putrid odor leaking from that chicken. It smelled like it had been killed over a year ago. Again my gag reflex came in to play and I decided that the great prices at Wal Mart are not worth it. Not only do they sell fake herbs, they sell old rotten chicken as well that has a sell by date of 2 weeks from now. Can you imagine what it would smell like in 2 weeks? 

 Needless to say, I am over my theme for the day and will be returning the decomposing chicken. I hope you are all having a nice smelling day, unlike me!  

So Many Things To Do...

I am feeling a little overwhelmed...but I am not really doing anything about it. When I get overwhelmed, I tend to do nothing and it really drives me crazy. Like right now I have a ton of laundry to do, a house to clean, 2 phone calls that need to be made, 2 Christmas projects to start etc. etc. I always say that I will get to my to do list when my kids are asleep. However, they are asleep right now and I am sitting right here at my computer not marking off anything on my to do list but rather blogging/ complaining about it. Is there therapy for this kind of problem? Maybe if I talk about it a lot the things will magically get done. Obviously I'd rather talk about them than actually do them. Shoot! My son just woke up...there goes my plan! 

Precious

I just thought I'd share a picture of my little cutie with you. This was right after she had eaten some prunes! She is so cute even when she is a mess! She will be 6 months this Tuesday. It is amazing how time flies when you have children. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was crying on the bathroom floor after taking a pregnancy test and finding out that I was pregnant again. I couldn't believe God didn't follow my plan. Didn't he know that I just had a baby 4 months before? How was I supposed to handle another one so soon? 

 Now I am glad that God didn't follow my plan...His is much better! I love my Maia Belle and it is such a joy watching her and Noah interact and love each other. She is such a sweetheart and such an easy baby. I pray for her daily and am so thankful for her sweet spirit.  She brings a smile to everyone she comes in contact with and I hope that she will change many lives for Jesus some day. 

A Quick Confession

I just put my babies down and I have to get this blog done before my hubby gets home. I need to look like I've been doing dishes or something when he gets home not sitting at my computer for hours...anyways back to my confession...I am super embarrassed to admit this but I feel like I have to. 

  When I returned from my Honeymoon 3 1/2 years ago, my mom had given me a bag of stuff that was left at her house on the day of my wedding. In that bag was a pair of jeans that belonged to my really good friend and bridesmaid Breanne. Breanne is absolutely gorgeous and she is super skinny and the girl can sport a paper bag and make it look good. Anyways, I decided to do what any girl would do...I tried on her jeans...just to see if they would fit and look as good on me as they did on her...bad idea. I couldn't get them to go over my thighs. From that moment I declared Breanne's jeans "My Inspiration Jeans." You know that pair of jeans that sits in your closet forever that you swear you will fit into someday but never do? Yup, I never returned the jeans, and never told my friend that I had them. 

 Yesterday, I was digging through my closet trying to find something to wear since my hamper is stacked all the way to the ceiling. What did I spot in the very back corner? "My Inspiration Jeans" from 3 1/2 years ago! Since I have been faithful to my Sugar Busters diet, I felt confident enough to try them on again. Guess what? They fit!!! It was one of the happiest moments of my life to know that I fit into a pair of Breanne Wood's jeans. I totally disregarded the fact that I could not breathe or really move in them. All I knew was that they zipped and buttoned and didn't tear! Oh shoot my husband's home...gotta get to the dishes!!! Thanks for listening to my confessions and please don't judge me. Sorry Breanne! You can have your jeans back now! 

Prune Juice Wisdom

My children have issues with constipation. I know that they will be pretty embarrassed when they get older and find out that I talked about their poop issues on my blog. Anyways, this past week, I have felt like a horrible mother as I've watched them both grunt, push, turn red, and make the most painful faces as they try to poop. Yesterday, I decided that I had to do something drastic...So Ricky and I went to the market and cleared it of baby food prunes and bought some "no sugar added" prune juice and a nifty new sippy cup for Noah to make it exciting for him to drink the nasty stuff. In the parking lot of the market, I opened Noah's new sippy cup and poured the prune juice in it along with some water and gave it to him. I thought I was going to have battle on my hands to get him to drink it but to my surprise, he downed it, and asked for more "goose" as soon as we got home. So, I refilled his cup. Then, my husband got to work on Maia sitting her in her chair and feeding her the baby food prunes despite her disgusted faces. We were both determined to cure our kids' constipation.

  Maia's remedy proved to be a complete failure. She nearly popped the veins in her neck pushing later that day, but Noah...well...let's just say I probably should not have given him two glasses full of prune juice. I went to take a quick nap and of course as soon as I fell asleep Noah woke up from his nap. I heard Ricky get him and take him to the living room to play. About five minutes later I hear Ricky freaking out and Noah starting to cry hysterically. Noah comes to my room crying and Ricky is yelling at him to stop moving. I come out of my room and Ricky yells "look at your son's socks." I look...they both contain brown stains and I can see brown liquid running down the inside of both his legs. I put my gag reflex in check and put my "Phased by Nothing Mom Face" on and went to work on removing the poop stained socks and shorts and the overflowing diaper which was holding way too much poop for a nineteen month old kid to have in his body at one time. Although I did end up with some on my hand, I kept my cool and tried to calm my son and let him know that mommy will never try one of her bright ideas on him again. I spent the rest of the afternoon, disinfecting my carpet, Noah's clothes, and the changing table and asking myself what I was thinking giving my son two glasses of prune juice. Another "Rookie Mom" move for Taleah. 

Halloween

Noah's costume lasted as long as it took to take one picture! He looked so cute but wanted the Elmo head "osss." Maia was not too happy to be my little chicken and I decided that Halloween at this age is much more of a hassle then it is fun. My kids don't know or care about the candy nor were they very interested in the other costumed kids. And they both were hot and upset at me for making them keep their costumes on! But I wanted everyone to see how cute my kids were in their costumes that I made them suffer and spent the entire night having to deal with whiny very hot children who probably thought I was crazy for making them go around and say trick-or-treat for a bunch of "yuckies." 

Remember Way Back When...

I've discovered that the life of a working mom is pretty much just plain CRAZY! This morning, I was running late for work and just as I was going to walk out the door, Noah had to go poop but was constipated and in pain and I did not have the heart to leave him in that condition. He just wanted his mama. So I sat and rubbed his back and encouraged his pushing while praying that God would hurry the process up so that I wouldn't be late. It took a good 20 minutes and a lot of grunting before he felt well enough to let me leave. I quickly made a sandwich and ran out the door and headed for work. on the way there, I called to let them know I would be late due to a case of constipation. When I exited the freeway, I noticed that the most important item was missing from my passenger seat: my PUMP! I called work again, clarified my earlier conversation letting them know that it was my son who was constipated not me and I let them know that I would be even later because I forgot my pump. I got on the freeway going the opposite direction and sat in dead stop traffic for awhile. I ended up making it to work an hour and a half late. 

  When I returned home from work later that day, I kissed my kids hello and started to work on dinner as Noah attempted to reach his little hands up to the food I was chopping and Maia began whining from her play mat. I placed Noah in his high chair and gave him an apple to munch on, swaddled Maia and placed her in her crib for a nap and went back to working on dinner. Maia cried for a good 15 minutes before falling asleep while Noah gave me a play by play of her crying (Maia's ky-ing) in between choking on apple peel. About 10 minutes after she fell asleep, Noah runs right by her bedroom door and yells and wakes her up. It took me forever to finish dinner and by the time it was ready I was starving but so were my kids. So, I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed and sat down to eat my cold dinner at 8. No time to sit and sulk over cold dinner, there was a whole kitchen to be cleaned and a shower to be taken. 

 While in the shower, I reminisced about the days with no children when I could go to work without the embarrassing backpack pump and without having some kid dilemma to make me late (i.e. constipation, spit up on my dress, explosive poop). My husband and I would come home from work and veg on the couch and after we had relaxed for awhile we'd go out for a nice peaceful hot dinner and come home to a clean house and no dishes. Sheesh...how boring is that?! 

Update on the Cleaning Lady

I have never been embarrassed and immensely grateful at the same time but I experienced those two emotions simultaneously yesterday afternoon. On my way home from work at 4 p.m. I received a call from my husband asking me what he was supposed to do because the cleaning ladies were still there. What?! They're still there? They had gotten to my house at 8:15 a.m. and there were two of them. Let me remind you that my house is quite small. How could it possibly take two women 8 hours to clean my tiny house? Was it that dirty? At this point I was mortified thinking about how gross my house must have been. When I got home at 4:30 p.m. the ladies were just exiting my house...I wished I had a bag over my head so they wouldn't see who was responsible for the disgusting house. I smiled at them and said thank you and as soon as they were out of sight, I bolted through the door of my house to see what could have possibly taken so long... It was like a getting a glimpse of heaven. The stairs that lead up to my house, which when I left that morning had about two inches of dirt on each step were a different color...I never knew that is what they were supposed to look like. I entered my dining room and noticed that my tile floor was without spots and that every inch of the grout had been scrubbed. My white-tiled kitchen, was sparkling and the grout in there was no longer yellow. All the baseboards throughout my house had been scrubbed, my toilets were ring-free, my shutters on every window were spotless, and the dust on every picture and piece of furniture was gone. Not only did they empty all the trash cans, they scrubbed them clean as well. I had never witnessed a nice smelling trash can. Later, when I went to start cooking dinner, I opened the refrigerator and I was not hit with the nasty odor that I had become used to. These ladies had to be angels! They cleaned my refrigerator, it was sparkling! All the worry and stress was worth it and I will provide cleaning supplies any day in exchange for my house looking like that. When my husband entered the house with the kids, I stopped him at the bottom of the stairs and told him that we were taking the babies to my mom's house for a few days so that I could make the glimpse of heaven last more than 5 minutes...he shot down my idea, and I spent the rest of the evening following my children like a shadow with my Clorox spray all around the house cleaning everything that they touched or stepped on.

What a Mess

So, I never post from work, but this morning I have to in order to unwind and de-fluster myself. Well, I have been wanting to hire someone to clean my house for awhile now but I had a few hang ups about it...1.) My house is like a shoebox, really tiny, and I didn't want the cleaning lady to think I was super lazy and couldn't clean my own house 2.) If I was going to pay someone to clean my shoebox, I wanted them to be super thorough and make it worth my while. Number 1 was solved by me being okay with the fact that the lady was going to label me as lazy, I can handle the blow. Number 2 was solved when my friend Jen told me that her cleaning lady scrubs the baseboards. Yesterday, I took the plunge, called the lady, and asked her to come over my house this morning at 8 to clean. Then, I went into a cleaning frenzy after putting the kids to bed. I barked orders to Ricky, and went crazy shoving stuff in closets, throwing stuff away, and launching anything in my path in the hamper. You always have to clean before the cleaning lady comes right?
This morning, my mom came to pick up the kids and the cleaning lady was running late so my mom said she would stick around to wait for her so I wouldn't be late to work. I let her know where the Clorox spray was in case the lady needed it and left for work fantasizing about my immaculate house. About 20 minutes later, my mom calls asking where the Windex is...I don't know...I don't think I have Windex! She calls again 3 minutes later asking where the Swiffer wipes are...I don't think we have any. She calls again, 2 minutes later letting me know that the cleaning lady is giving her a list of cleaning supplies to go get at the market! Of course this would happen to me, why wouldn't it?! My poor mother had to pack up my two kids and go to the market and return with cleaning supplies. Upon her return, she calls to ask me where I keep my cleaning rags, I can hear both kids screaming in the background. I tell her to grab any towel she can find. At this point my fear of the cleaning lady thinking I would be lazy is the least of my worries. I now know that she is afraid to be in my contaminated house that has probably never been properly cleaned and probably wonders if I even shower with shampoo and soap. Also, I feel horrible that my mother had to shuttle my kids to and from the market and go on a scavenger hunt through my house when all she was planning to do was let the lady in the house and show her where the Clorox spray was! I think God allows this stuff to happen to me so He can giggle and I can blog!

Musings of a 19 Month Old

Right now it is so peaceful in my house. All of my babies are sleeping including my husband. Since we are at church all morning on Sundays, Noah and Maia's schedules get all messed up and they have a really hard time going down for their naps by the time we get home. Today, Noah talked in his crib for a good 45 minutes before falling asleep. At one point I decided to listen in at the door to see if I could hear what he was saying. He was doing this funny high pitched laugh saying, "Ha ha ha, Bu-ya. Ha ha ha, Bu-ya." I sat there wracking my brain trying to figure out what he was saying, then it hit me! Every time we go to my parents' house (ever since Noah was first born), my dad takes Noah for a walk and points out everything to him including mailboxes, flowers, dogs, fire hydrants, and statues in people's yards. This is part of the reason why I think Noah's vocabulary is advanced for a one-year-old. Anyways, one of the houses that they walk by has a statue of a big fat happy Buddha. He has a huge smile on his face and looks like he is laughing. Every time Noah and my dad get to that statue, my dad laughs in a high pitched voice and tells Noah that Buddha is laughing. So, Noah was imitating his Papi and Buddha from his crib before his nap. It is fascinating what sticks in little kids' minds! 

Detox/ Hell Began Today

I hesitate to even write this post because then I will have people keeping me accountable. I'd rather just keep this to myself so that I won't feel pressured, but maybe if I write about I'll be more likely to stick to it...Oh dear...Okay, here it goes...No, I am not a closet alcoholic or drug addict...I am a sugarholic. Yesterday, Ricky got all inspired by his health nut brother and suckered me into going on the Sugar Busters diet with him. I know that it would only be a matter of time before I'd have to give up eating chocolate chip cookies every night...yeah, you read that right EVERY night...The Biggest Loser chocolate chip cookie night has now stretched itself out to every night of the week. My eating habits have gotten to the point of ridiculousness and I knew it was time to make a change. Last week alone, I had a Carmel Macchiato 5 times, chocolate chip cookies every night, a Butterfinger Dairy Queen Blizzard once, a slice of cheesecake, and lots of Halloween candy. It's no wonder that I feel like crap so often and always want to take a nap. I am a sugar fiend. 

  This week all of that changes. I can no longer have sugar and the mere thought of that is  making me break out in a cold sweat and giving me the shivers. All I want right now is some cookies!!! 

  Today, I spent way too much money at Trader Joe's and Henry's so that we were stocked up on healthy food and had no money left in the bank to spend on the our 10 p.m. sugar cravings. It was a good strategy and I hope it works. At this moment, I am contemplating getting a secret credit card for secret desserts but I hope that urge will pass soon. 

 This new leaf that we are turning is also a good thing for us as parents. Right now, we make Noah eat super healthy and when we are eating french fries or cookies and he asks for some we tell him it's "yucky" and he can't have any. This makes me both a liar and a hypocrite. Now, I can stop feeling guilty and will be able to share all that I eat with my son. Wish me luck and pray for me this week. When I did this before, I really felt as though I was detoxing from a drug addiction. 

The Spitting Princess

Maia's mealtimes have become my most dreaded moments of the day. She is a spitting machine and I don't know how to communicate to a five month old not to spit. She does not understand that mommy is running late for work and won't have to time to change her cereal splattered dress or that scraping cereal off the crevices of the highchair and off the floor and off the blinds is not something mommy cares to do. She does not seem to mind that she goes off to grandma's house with cereal crust up her nose, behind her ears, and stuck in her hair. Feeding Maia now results in a colossal mess and it takes five times as long to feed her which makes me crazy. Solutions anyone? Note: I have tried firmly saying no, flicking her mouth, and not feeding her. The first two resulted in more spitting; the latter resulted in hours of crying. 

The Sign of a Bad Day

I knew today was going to be a bad day as soon as I picked out my shoes this morning. I chose to wear really uncomfortable, too high heels, that were cute, matched my outfit, and kept the hem of my jeans from touching the floor and getting frayed. I know that I don't walk well in heels but I didn't seem to have a choice so I put my heels on, went through my morning routine of dressing, feeding, and packing for my two babies and headed off to work. Upon arrival I gathered my massive purse, my backpack pump, my sweater, and my raisin toast and headed toward the office. (It's amazing how I am a pack mule even when I am without my kids.) Right when I got to the stairs, I thought, wow, I haven't rolled an ankle yet, that's impressive! Well, what is that saying?..."Pride comes before the fall?"...I was the literal example of that phrase. As I made my way up the stairs, my heel missed the step and I felt myself began to go down along with all of my luggage. I could see myself falling in slow motion and I was powerless to stop it. I put my hands down to stop my face from slamming into the floor, completely smooshing my breakfast but saving my face. My pump flew over my head, my sweater went flying, and my purse hit the floor with a bang. I flung my head up quickly and scanned my surroundings to see how many people I had completely humiliated myself in front of...Praise the Lord, my ego was only bruised in front of one person. She ran out of the office asking if I was okay. I gathered all of my things, regained my composure, told her I was fine, and thought, I knew this was going to be a bad day. I sustained a painful bruise on my foot to add to the one on my ego and a broken shoe. 

 Later that morning, I discovered that I had a big black raisin stuck in my teeth for most of the morning, and I mentally noted all the people I had smiled at that morning who had been picking their teeth. I obviously did not get the hint. 

  My day continued to get worse with different situations at work and was topped off with the simultaneous, in sync, loud, obnoxious crying of my two children for 30 minutes straight on the way home from dinner with my in-laws. 

 Why didn't I choose to wear comfortable shoes today? My day would have been much more pleasant. 

Mama Etiquette

 

I had many rookie mom moments when I first had Noah, but since having Maia, I have felt pretty confident in my mothering and feel as though I have graduated past the rookie stage. However, I realized the other day that I am still a rookie when it comes to being a mom at birthday parties or family gatherings. I left the party with the following questions...

How do I tell the little girl in the jumper that Noah doesn't like to be caught in a headlock and wrestled to the floor 5 times in a row?

Should I pull my 1 1/2 year old and all the other little ones like him out of the jumper thingy when the big kids start UFC fighting in the jumper or should I start chanting "fight, fight, fight" like a high schooler and hope the kids' mothers come and stop them?

How do I ask relatives without hurting their feelings not to put germ infested fingers into Maia's mouth because she wants something to chew on? Do they know how many nasty germs are on fingers? I know this is really not that big of a deal to some people, but to me it is! It makes me want to gag. The only time I put my fingers in my kids' mouths is directly after washing my hands with anti-bacterial soap. I will not even use a towel to dry my hands because I don't want any germs from the towel to get in their mouths.

How do you explain to your 1 1/2 year old that it is okay to hit the pretty butterfly pinata as hard as he can with a baseball bat, but not okay to hit other toys or kids with it?

Once the pinata is broken, how do you convince your 18 month old to get in the midst of all the choas and pick up all the candy he can for Mama. This was especially confusing for Noah because Mama was asking him to pick up all the "yuckies." (This is what I call candy, so that he won't want it.) 

How do I explain to people why my kid is eating tomato and cheese slices while everyone around him is eating cake? Do I tell them I'm a Nazi health food mom and make them feel sorry for my deprived child? Do I lie and tell them he's allergic to sugar and processed foods? 

When your kid poops in his diaper and leaves a trail of nasty odors as he walks by people who are eating, is it okay to blame one of the other kids to save yourself the embarrassment?

How do I ask the over-zealous relative to put my son down when he is frantically crying because the over-zealous relative kind of freaks him out and won't let him go?  

Fly Hunting

As you have seen from previous blogs, one of our pastimes here in Chino is fly swatting. We Chino-ites teach our children at a very young age the fine art of fly swatting. As you can see from this video, I never miss an opportunity to refine my children's fly-killing skills. Today, I had Noah practice this skill during bath time on an unsuspecting pesky fly. 

  You would not want to be a fly on the wall in my house...you might get smashed by the heavy hand of a 1 year-old. 

An Award Please?

I feel like I deserve an award for keeping my children alive and staying sane after my day yesterday. You all may be shocked at how easy I have it and think that I am really not deserving of anything but a poopy diaper but I am very proud of myself nonetheless...

Yesterday, I picked up my babies after work and headed home like I always do. Normally my husband is home waiting to help me get my 5 bags and two babies out of the car and up the stairs into the house, but yesterday he was working late and so I had to figure out how to get my luggage plus my two babies out of the car and up the stairs all by myself. Then, I had to figure out how I was going to cook dinner, keep the babies entertained, feed dinner, give baths, read all 100 of Noah's books to him, keep my sanity, and not bite my husband's head off as soon as he walked in the door after the kids were sound asleep...

First things first, getting out of the car and up the stairs was quite a task because the neighbor kid was outside riding his bike and as soon as I took Noah out of his car seat, he ran out of the garage yelling the little boy's name and chasing him down the street. I ran after him in my uncomfortable heels with 5 bags on my shoulder and Maia in her car seat on the other arm being brain damaged from the jolts she was receiving from being bumped against my leg. I didn't have any free hands with which to grab Noah so I had to bribe him back to the house with my phone. Once we got up the stairs, I was a sweaty mess. I started the rice for dinner, changed my shoes, took Maia out of her car seat, and headed outside with Noah so he could release some energy. This was the most peaceful part of my afternoon. Watching Noah go up and down the slide 20 times. When I knew that I had to get back to my rice, I told Noah that we had to go and he threw a fit. I dragged him back to the house by his arm muttering not so nice things under my breath as he cried and Maia slid down my hip on the other side . Once inside, Maia went in her swing and I handed Noah a towel and told him to help me kill the flies that were buzzing all around my kitchen. While I was cooking dinner, Maia started crying and I once again put Noah to work telling him to go give Maia a kiss. This worked for a few minutes but then I must have sent him over to her one too many times because the last time he head-butted her and grabbed her toy from her hand after kissing her which made her cry even more. I scrambled to finish dinner, only burning myself once amidst the chaos of a 1 crying baby and 1 whining baby. Then I placed them in their high chairs and attempted to feed Maia her rice cereal and Noah his dinner at the same time. Bad idea. Maia was upset that she had to take turns and Noah was annoyed with Maia's crying. While she cried, he yelled, "Maia's ky-ing" and refused to eat. I finished feeding her, took her out of her chair, swaddled her and put her down in her crib. She continued to scream. I proceeded to feed Noah despite the loud crying coming from the babies' room. Once he was done, I got Maia and nursed her while reading Noah 3 different books. After feeding her, I gave them each a bath one at a time, read 2 more books, brushed Noah's teeth, got them ready for bed, prayed with them, and put them down. All I wanted to do at that point was drink a glass of wine and pass out on the couch, but my kitchen was a mess, my bathroom looked like a tidal wave hit it, my living room had toys and books scattered everywhere, and my stomach was begging me to feed it. I have a whole new respect for single moms. I don't think I could do that more than once a year! But, the fact that I got through that afternoon with two babies alive and fed, my house not burned down, and my sanity intact makes me feel like I deserve a trophy!

A Little Grace

Have you ever done something and wished you had a life Tivo so you could rewind life and undo it? I have done many of those things, but today was a big one. I arrived home from a meeting at around 4 p.m. and was in deep thought. I pulled into the garage, shut the car off and without even thinking pushed the button to shut the garage. I gathered my things and was about to exit the car when I heard an awful scratching noise. My heart dropped as I watched the garage door switch directions and I heard the awful scratching noise again. "Oh dear God, please don't let this be happening!" I could only imagine the damage that the garage door had done to the truck, I was too afraid to even look. Finally, I gathered the courage and peeked around the back corner of the truck to see if the bumper was still attached. It was. However, in the middle of the tail gate, of my new black truck is a HUGE white scratch from the very top all the way to the bottom of the tailgate. I felt like I was going to vomit. My options were to go inside, tell my husband, and plead for my life;  hop in the truck, go to a friends house, call my husband, tell him and give him time to process the information before I was in his presence; or flat out lie about how the scratch was there when I got out of my meeting and it must have been some hoodlum kid. I chose to go with option #1. As I climbed the stairs, I contemplated crying because tears usually work in my favor, but I was too sick to deal with having to work up tears.  I arrived at the top of the stairs and thought, "maybe if I fake faint right now, he will be so worried about me that when I wake up and the first words out of my mouth are "I scratched the truck," he won't even care because, he'll be glad I'm alright." Before I could enact this plan, I heard myself saying, "I did a bad thing." I told him and he just stayed quiet. I asked him not to look at it because it would just make him upset, but he went down to check it out for himself anyways. He didn't say anything for about an hour and I just felt more and more horrible and thought about how much I would appreciate a little grace. Then, on the way to my parent's house for dinner, the much needed grace came. "It was mostly my fault you know. I was supposed to hang something from the ceiling in the garage so that you would know how far to pull in and I never got around to it," he said.   A flood of relief swept over me and I finally took a deep breath after holding my breath for about an hour. He didn't hate me and I was going to live after all! 

  Grace is a wonderful thing. It is something that God has been teaching me for the past year and today was one of the best lessons. I needed it so badly and it was soothing to my soul to receive it. I need to remember that feeling the next time I am in the position to show grace. I hope I am able to be as gracious as my husband was to me. And, I also pray that God shows us a lot of grace when we take the truck in to be fixed so that I won't have to sell one of my children in order to afford to pay for the repair. 

A Day at the Apple Farm

Today we went to the Apple Farms at Oak Glen. I have never been before and I must say it was such a treat! We all loved it. First we went to pick a pumpkin. I love real pumpkin patches where the pumpkins are still attached to the vine...we didn't find a good pumpkin though...we ended up getting one from WalMart later in the day...but the Pumpkin patch was still fun. 

We didn't leave the patch empty-handed, we found ourselves a wandering goat who I think was plagued with mad-goat disease. Is there such a thing? Anyways, above is a picture of the goat banging his head against a barrel. Noah wasn't really sure what to do about that. Then below is a picture of the goat following us down the hill. He would stop when we stopped and would wait for us to catch up with him. We were a little wary of him because he just looked possessed or something. He ended up in the general store where they caught him and took him back to his cage. 
I thought this bench was a cute place for Noah to take a picture and I told him to put his hands up for it. The look on his face says it all, "My mom is as crazy as that goat standing next to her. Why am I raising my hands for no reason?"

The apple picking was the best part. We all had so much fun. 


I don't know if this is considered stealing or not, but I wanted to make sure these apples tasted good so I took a bite of one and then gave it to Noah. He loved it and he shared! 
I was too busy posing for pictures and picking apples to pay attention to what Maia was doing. 

Noah, at the end of the day, so happy to be going home with a bag full of apples that he picked himself. 

It was almost a perfect day until we got in the car to go home. Maia screamed the entire way home  and I once again contemplated throwing myself out of the vehicle to escape the madness.