Before and After

People say that when you have kids, you discover a whole new level of love. I completely agree. But, there is something else that is quite disturbing that having kids has revealed to me.

You see, before I had kids, I thought I could almost walk on water. I mean I was a sweet, kind, honest, good person. However, my view of myself has completely changed since having kids. I have discovered that who I really am is a thief and a liar who needs anger management classes and intense psychotherapy.

The other day after breaking up the 50th fight in the first hour of the day, repeating myself countless times, changing the 2nd nasty poop explosion, and being yelled at for an hour straight by my 11 month old for not bringing him food fast enough, I lost my temper and and threw a tantrum and told everyone to just stop and leave me alone. Then, I lied and told them that if they didn't stop fighting, the police would come and get them. Later, I stole a piece of candy from one of their goody bags (because I deserved it, of course) and when they asked if they could have some, I lied again and said there was no more.

So, there it is...my kids have revealed that underneath that honest and calm facade was an angry thief and liar waiting to reveal herself...anyone know of a good therapist?... preferably one without kids...

What the Kids are Wearing

I've mentioned it before here on this blog, but since the topic of this blog has to do with this particular subject, I am going to say it again. I lack fashion sense. Yup. I don't actually own any accessories (besides my kids) because I don't really know how to pair them correctly with an outfit. As for clothes, you can always count on me to wear plain basic items that are quite safe and can be worn with comfortable under garments...ahem...that is no strapless or spaghetti straps. Thus, my wardrobe is boring and underwhelming. So, when I attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago, my good friend Kathy and I decided to scope out what "the kids are wearing these days" in order to try and spruce up our mom wardrobes. By kids we meant the kidless 20 somethings who are so stinking fashionable and cute. There we were, the two moms (me in a 4 year old very outdated dress, flashing unshaven legs, and zero accessories) scoping out all the "kids" and trying to decide if we could pull off the hip Spring looks that they were sporting. I took good mental notes and tried to figure out how to fit a shopping trip into my budget...no luck.

But...this past Thursday, I realized that I will be on stage singing this Sunday in front of thousands of people. I cannot look like a drab fashion-less woman in basic cotton mom clothes! This is my chance to go shopping and put all my mental notes to the test plus I stumbled upon a $50 gift card in my purse which was begging me to spend it. So, I did. I went to a store that I am sure all "the kids" shop at and ventured to buy an outfit complete with feather earrings and bangle bracelets (because that was in my notes). I am now praying that I do not look like a complete mismatched mess on Sunday. Hopefully, "the kids" like it!