I Think it's a Disease

I am starting to think my daughter has some sort of disease. It is a disease where she can't help but resort to violence when minorly or majorly offended. It seems that no amount of discipline will stop her from biting, hitting, or pinching when she is upset. Noah has learned to run away from her as fast as he can after offending her, but many times, he does not run fast enough and he falls victim to Maia's abuse. The other day, I found him hiding behind a chair because she was coming after him (It's that bad). I myself have learned to quicken my reflexes after feeling those little chompers sink into my shoulder a couple of times. Violence is like a reflex for her!

I am worried. I don't want to be the mom that all the other moms avoid play dates with for fear their kids will be abused. I don't want Maia to be labeled by the term "bully." I need solutions fast! I have been consistent with spanking but she seems to think that if she got spanked for biting then she will just try pinching next time. When she gets spanked for that, she resorts to hitting. Then, the cycle starts over again! HELP! My daughter needs anger management!

My Kid is Literally Self-Disciplined

Yesterday was one of those crazy days. You know the kind where you are too busy and stressed to eat, go to the bathroom, and breathe? Anyways, my morning was not going so well; Noah was sick and whiny, Maia was feisty and vicious, and I was just trying to get myself ready to be a pretend bride for a video shoot at church. Maia had been spanked that morning already for biting Noah and I warned her that from now on all hitting and biting would be punished by spanking, not by time-outs (those were obviously not working). I jumped in the shower and prayed that my kids would be alive by the time I got out. As I was stepping out of the shower, Noah came running in tattling on Miss Maia who had bit him again! I yelled for Maia to "COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" As soon as I stepped out of my room, I saw Miss Maia Belle sitting in the corner. Before I could say anything she informed me, "I in time out buh-cuz I bite Noah." She was pale faced out of fear of the spanking that she knew she had earned. However, I was doing everything I could to maintain my composure and not burst out in laughter. I stepped back into my room to take a deep breath and tell myself not to laugh at my 1 year old daughter who is so smart it scares me. I went back out and firmly scolded her telling her that she is not to bite Noah and that the next time she will get a spanking but for now she must finish her time out sentence.

What the heck have I created? I have a kid who puts herself in time out in order to out smart her mother who promised a spanking for biting! Have I mentioned that this kid is only ONE?!

Ay yaiy yaiy...

What Budget?

My husband is a sucker for Hurley brand clothing. He found out about the Hurley Warehouse sale and convinced me to let him go and get a few things for the kids. I let him know what the budget was and repeatedly asked him to stay within budget and only purchase a couple of items. I must have been speaking a foreign language because he obviously did not understand me at all. Here is what I came home to today.

I'm still recovering from the fact that my mvelopes are now in the red.

Maia Sings Jesus Loves Me

Maia likes to sing like "Guitalya" (Natalya). You will also notice in this video that the girl has range and rhythm! (Please ignore me on the side of the screen. Our camera no longer zooms and Ricky didn't tell me I was in the shot). Enjoy!

My Little Prayer Warriors

As a parent, my ultimate goal is to bring my children to an understanding of Jesus. My deepest desire is for my kids to understand God's love and to be in a personal relationship with Him and love Him with all their heart, soul, and mind. I spend many minutes of each day begging God to grab my kids' hearts at a young age and reveal Himself to them in such a way that it is impossible for them to deny Him. For some, this may seem bizarre that this is my ultimate goal. I mean, shouldn't my goal be to make sure my kids are safe, fed, nurtured and that they have a high self-esteem? Nope, those things pale in comparison to them knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

I have learned that prayer is something that my kids can comprehend at their young age and it is a beginning to them understanding Jesus as their Savior. I want my kids to know that Jesus is always available to them and that they can talk to Him at any time and He will listen. He cares to hear about their day just like mommy does. When they are happy, they can pray; when they are sad, they can pray; when they are angry, they can pray; when they or someone else needs help, they can pray. So, ever since my kids were babies, we have prayed before every meal (yes, even baby food), we pray when we first wake up, and we pray before we go to sleep. We also pray after a time out or a spanking if we need help calming down. We pray when someone gets hurt and we pray when we hear a sad story. My favorite thing that we pray for is the villains in any movie or story book! Yup, we pray for Cruella Devil, for Sid from Toy Story, for Ursela from The Little Mermaid, for Randall from Monsters Inc., and for Gaston from Beauty and the Beast! I have prayed countless times for these fictional characters to "ask Jesus into their heart so they will be nice." My parents, Ricky's parents, and Chuck and Pam have also prayed many of these prayers on behalf of my children. But, it warms my heart, when in the middle of a movie, my kids fold their hands and say, "Let's pray for him not to be mean anymore mommy." I am always moved to tears when someone tells me that a friend or family member is sick or hurting and Noah hears and responds with, "Let's pray for them." This shows me that my kids are getting it!

Lately, they have been praying on their own. It melts my heart and I know that it melts God's heart too. Here is what they prayed the other day:

Noah: Dear Jesus, thank you that we had a fuuuun, fuuuun, fuuuuun day today! Thank you for Bamma and Papa and Auntie Denise and Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Cow-sey and Papi and Nana and Bup and Guck... and help me to be a good boy and not to whine and cry and Jesus name aaaaa-men!

Maia: Dear Jesus, hep Maia not to trow up anymore, and not to bite and be naughty and Jesus name aaaa-men!

My cup overflows. I love my little prayer warriors! I hope that I can instill within them a lifestyle of prayer without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

I Had To Buy Them...It Was a Sign From God!

Confession: I have a love for designer jeans.

Reality: I can't afford them. The last pair of designer jeans that I purchased was 5 years ago when I was making the big bucks as a sales rep.

About a year ago, I saw a girl on a reality t.v. show wearing a super cute pair of designer jeans and I have had dreams about "The Jeans" ever since. I kept thinking that one day, when they were completely out of style, I would find them in a thrift store and buy them and fulfill my dream of owning those jeans. I would look so tall and skinny in them that it would not matter that they were out of style.

Today, I had to go to Nordstrom Rack to exchange some shoes that Maia had gotten as a gift. I rarely go to that store because it is deceiving. I feel like I am getting a great deal on a shirt because it is reduced 50% from the Nordstrom's price, but really I am not getting a deal because the shirt is way overpriced to begin with and the discount price is way more than I would ever spend on a shirt in the real world. Back to my story, as soon as we walked in the store to exchange Maia's shoes, right there in front of my very eyes, were "The Jeans." It was like there was a light from Heaven shining down on "The Jeans" and a choir of angels was singing around them as if they were expecting me. I mean how ironic that I never go into that store, and the one time that I do "The Jeans" are right there in front of my face as soon as I walk in. It was a sign from God. Instantly, I forgot about my Nordstrom Rack deceit theory and walked over to the coveted pair of jeans. They were the exact pair that the girl on t.v. was wearing. I was in love. I gathered them in my arms, holding them close, taking in the sweet new clothes smell, and admiring the beautiful white seams. The world around me stopped. I was oblivious to my kids wandering off without me. At last we were united, me and my precious jeans. Maia's screaming finally snapped me back to reality and I bid my sweet jeans farewell and headed to the shoe department to do what I came do. We got the shoes and as I stood in line, I looked longingly at the jeans. But, there was a loud voice in my head yelling at me. It was Dave Ramsey saying, "Whenever you are going to make a big purchase, go home and sleep on it first." SHUT UP, DAVE! Don't you understand? It's a sign from God!...I left the store jeanless.

For the next three hours, I only thought about "The Jeans." They were lonely without me. They needed me! I went online and took a look at my mvelopes to see if there was any way for me to purchase "The Jeans" that Heaven was telling me to buy. Lo and behold, there was a way! We had enough money in our clothing envelope for me to make the purchase. Now, my only obstacle was my guilt. Shouldn't I buy Maia some new clothes or Noah some new shoes or Ricky some new shirts? I mean for the price of those jeans I could buy all of those things...Nah! I could always get them stuff on craigslist. Besides, this was a SIGN FROM GOD!

As soon as Ricky got home, I let him know that I needed to leave right away. On my way to the store, I begin to panick: "What if they didn't have my size?," What if they were all gone?" What if I saw someone taking the last pair? Would I lose all control and tackle them right there in the store?" I made it into the store and there they were, beautifully lit, with the angels singing around them. I felt like it was a slow motion scene in a movie as I ran toward my jeans and was reunited with them for good. We hugged and smiled at each other and almost cried. It was a beautiful moment.

The jeans are now hanging on the wall in my living room so that everyone can admire how lovely they are...okay just kidding...I am wearing them and they are everything I hoped and dreamed they would be...and I am not in debt because of them. Thank you God for sending me a sign!

Wow!

I was getting everyone ready to get out the door one day this week and Maia came up to me dressed like this and said, "I ready!" Nice.

Happenings This Week

Worked out every day and had a bowl of chocolate malted crunch ice cream every day following my work out.

Received a call from the cleaning lady letting me know she is coming tomorrow. Cried tears of joy while on the phone with her. Won't be surprised if she doesn't show since my house is obviously dirty enough to cry over.

Had a guest over for dinner tonight and while he was here Maia got time out twice and Noah three times plus a spanking. I'm sure our guest will never come back and that he will never have children.

Our DVD player broke which caused Noah to have an epic melt down. There is no "envelope" for a new DVD player but I am contemplating going on a beans and rice diet for a week so that we can buy one. How will I get anything done without a DVD player to babysit the kids?!

Changed a poopy diaper on the run and 20 minutes later after scratching my face realized I had poop on my finger.

The "Minnie" Skirt

This morning as I was in the kitchen doing my million-things-at-once morning routine, I heard Ricky in the kid's room bribing Maia to get dressed while complaining about how he couldn't find anything for her to wear. As he gets a skirt on Maia, I hear him say, "Whoa! Maia, that is a mini-skirt!" She replies, "My Minnie Mouse skirt?! I go show Mommy!"
She comes out to the kitchen and says, "Look at my Mickey Mouse skirt Mommy!" When I turn around, I see my little girl in a 12 month (she wears size 2T) jean skirt that is so short I can see her diaper underneath it. I shoot a quick, are-you-kidding-me eye roll at Ricky and ask Maia if I can change her into something more appropriate. She begins to throw a tantrum and cry, "I wanna wear my Mickey Mouse skirt!" I get a glimpse of my future: My teenage daughter crying because she wants to wear the same hoochie mama clothes that her friends are wearing and me locking her up in her room for the duration of her teenage years. Dramatic? Maybe. But, it could happen and I need to be prepared.
Anyways, I chose not to fight this battle since she would only be going to Bup's house and I could explain to Chuck and Pam why my 1 year old was in a "Minnie" skirt and know that they would not judge me! But, you can all rest assured that after today, that "Minnie" skirt will magically disappear...

Phrases I've Heard Today

"But, I wanna see my poop. Oh, I'll see it when I flush da toilet." (Noah)

"I don't want Noah to sing Jesus loves me dis I know for da Bye-bo te-yos me so." (Maia)

"Hay-wee bite me, because she is naughty." (Maia. This was a lie.)

"Why is it not Christmas already?" (Noah)

"The Pirates are all dead. I shot them all." (Noah)

"Why you wanna ess-er-cise, mommy? I don't want you to ess-er-cise" (Maia)

"No, mommy don't change me! I no hab poop, just pee pee." (Maia)

"Sheesh woman, why gotta take all my money?!" (Ricky)