My New Favorite Picture

I love my munchkins! 

The Love of My Life

Yesterday, Ricky and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary...and I just have to say that I am the luckiest girl in the world! God has blessed me with the most amazing man and I am so thankful that I have gotten to spend the last 4 years with him by my side. Because we have 2 young kids and not a lot of money, this anniversary was not celebrated with extravagant gifts or a romantic getaway instead we exchanged cards, went about our daily routines, and ended the day talking about how blessed we are to have the life that we do...then we planned our dream trip to Hawaii without the kids that will probably never happen!!! 

Kate Minus 9

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gosselin,

I follow your show, Jon and Kate Plus 8 and was heartbroken and angry to see on last Monday's show that you pretty much said you are getting divorced without actually saying the words. Yet, you both said that your kids come first, that you want what is best for them, and that you would do anything for your kids.
In light of those statements, I have a few questions for you? Since when is putting your career, fame, and fortune before your family "best for the kids?" Since when is disrespecting your husband and basically emasculating him in front of millions of people and in front of your kids "best for the kids?" Since when is not stepping up being a man and asking your wife not to disrespect you "best for the kids?" Since when is divorce "best for the kids?" Do you realize the severity of your decision to divorce? Are you blind to the fact that your kids will forever be wounded by your selfishness? Do you know that your kids would much prefer their parents to be together to having the cameras around and seeing their mom on the cover of magazines?
If you don't want your future to hold headlines such as "Gosselin Kid Arrested for DUI," "Gosselin Kid Admitted into Rehab Facility," and "Gosselin Kid Suffering From Severe Depression," you will truly do what is "best for your kids:" turn off the cameras, cancel the book tour, put your marriage first instead of your kids, and spend your fortune on hiring the best marriage and family therapist in America.

Sincerely,

Heartbroken For the Innocent Gosselin Kids

A 2- Year- Old Communication Problem

What happens when you put an extra whiny and an extra "lovey" 2 year old together? Pure Comedy! 

  Yesterday, while we were at church, Noah was not feeling well which made for an extra dose of whining. We thought we would take him outside after service and let him run around in the grass to help make him extra sleepy before we headed home. My good friend Kathy's son Caleb (who is super sweet) came out and joined us and everything was great until Noah decided to start whining. The pictures pretty much tell it all but I will add explanation so you get the full picture...

Boys are playing great together...nevermind that they are playing with a flower

Noah comes running to me whining, probably because he fell or something and Caleb comes running after him to give him a hug and says "You all better." The problem was that Noah didn't stop whining, so Caleb understood that to mean that he needed to give Noah more hugs. 
Caleb decided to sneak Maia a quick hug while all our attention was on Noah...smart kid, that one. 
Noah is really mad because Caleb kept trying to make him feel better with hugs and kisses. Caleb is very proud of himself for being so sweet. Maia is enamored by her prince charming (Caleb). 
Noah tried to get up and sneak away, however he hadn't stopped crying and Caleb knew he needed just one more hug! Noah tried to jump on me so that I would save him from Caleb's comfort...It didn't work. Caleb gave him a big hug and a kiss, Noah cried louder, I laughed until I almost peed my pants, and Kathy caught the priceless moment in a photograph while laughing hysterically as well. 

So Sweet

The other day we were driving to dinner at my parents house and the kids were being unusually quiet. I turned to see if maybe they had fallen asleep and instead saw them holding hands! It was so cute! I love that they love each other and I pray that they will be best friends as they grow up. 

A Fly on the Wall

If you were a fly on the wall in my house, here is the conversation you would have heard a few days ago...

We were on our way out the door and as we are gathering everyone and everything, I smell that nasty oh so familiar smell...

Me: Arggghhh! Of course right when we are walking out the door...

Ricky: What?

Taleah: (To Noah) Do you have poop?

Noah: No

Taleah: (To Maia) Do you have poop?

Maia: (Blank stare as mommy sniffs her diaper)

Taleah: Nope. (To Ricky) Do you have poop?

Ricky: What???!!! NOOOO. Get away from me! 

A Mom's Greeting

Today I arrived home from my mom group meeting to this sight. Ricky was nowhere to be found, both kids were whining, and Noah's shorts were nearly at his ankles. After I took a picture for my blog, Ricky came outside and exclaimed, "Perfect timing, they both have poop!"

My Worst Enemy

This morning I was rudely awoken the same way I've been awoken every day this week: Noah whining "Mama, I dropped my night night." I am so over those stupid "night nights." Of course he's woken Maia up every morning way earlier than she needed to be with his whining. Yesterday, I was ready to take them away all together but then I wussed out and decide to cut back to 1 pacifier in his crib as opposed to 10. He took it quite well. I lectured Noah at bed time on how he is a big boy now and only needs 1 pacifier and soon will not need any pacifiers. I also warned him that if it fell out of his crib and he whined for me to come in and get it, I would throw it away immediately! I made him repeat after me, "I don't need a night night to go back to sleep." My threats were empty and my lecture proved to be a waste of breath. He whined this morning and I rescued the night night. ARRRGGGHHH!
I am writing this post for very selfish reasons...I need encouragement. I need to take the pacifier away for good, but I don't have the guts! I know that I will get very little sleep and will probably cave in and give it back to him the first night and I cannot do that. I need focus on the end result and stay strong. This process will also involve a very complicated plan since my children share a room. I will probably have to send Maia to the GPs for at least the first night of no pacifier because otherwise Noah's incessant whining for his night night will keep her up. Who knew that the pacifier would become my worst enemy.

The "Mom Shirt"

I really would like to know if I am the only mom out there who ALWAYS has a "Mom Shirt" on. A mom shirt is any shirt that you wear that has spit up, kid boogers, food remnants, drool, play dough, milk, etc. on it.
On Monday, I stopped by my parents house and was asked twice, "What is that on your shirt? Is that a design?" When I looked at "the design" they were referring to, I realized that it was chewed up animal cracker remnants that Maia had so kindly wiped on me.
Today after being at work for half the day, I walked by a mirror and noticed that I had some dried crusty white stuff on my shirt. I'd been walking around all morning with this huge nasty spot on my shirt. After performing the sniff test I discovered that it was the yogurt that Maia had for breakfast.
My shirt seems to be the catchall for my kids. Noah will hold his dirty hands up and say "Keen 'em Mommy," and then proceed to wipe his hands on my shirt. I don't think it is possible for me to go through a whole day keeping any of my shirts looking presentable and crust free. So, if you see me walking around with a something crusty on my shirt, feel free to buy me a new crust free shirt. I would gladly accept your donation.

God Was Bored With My Blog

I have a theory: When God feels like my blog is getting boring He does something to me to make Himself laugh and to spice up my blog...

Today, after naps I needed to go grocery shopping. Despite the cranky, achey, post-5-shots Maia Belle and the whiny Noah I coaxed the kids out the door and into the car. After strapping them in their car seats, I stepped up into the truck and heard a RRRRIIP! I looked down and realized that my jeans had split in a very inappropriate place. However it was a small rip and I was not about to unstrap the kids, go upstairs and change, so I proceeded to the store. I was getting the kids out of the truck and into the shopping cart when Noah dropped his sippy cup. I bent down to pick it up heard the dreadful RRRRRRIIIPP again! SHOOT! I inspected the damage and realized that this time the tear was much bigger...big enough to be noticed if my steps were too big. However, I was determined to get through my grocery shopping trip with groceries in hand. My strategy was to shuffle through the store like a Geisha girl, not bend over, and not draw attention to myself.

I could see people looking at me funny as I shuffled my way up and down the aisles, but I stayed focused. I made it through the produce section with both my kids asking loudly to eat everything in sight. Noah finally calmed down when I told him he could hold the raspberry container. When we got the cheese aisle, Noah dropped the conatiner and spilled the raspberries all over the aisle. I was in a quandry. I had to clean up the mess but I couldn't bend over. Arggghhh! Noah began to call attention to us by yelling "Uh oh, Mommy I made a mess! Clean it Mommy, CLEAN IT!" I shushed him, scanned my surroundings, saw no one in the aisle and quickly bent over to clean up the mess. However when I stood up, there was a lady behind me putting cheese in her cart. I avoided eye contact and shuffled quickly past her, found a trash can and threw the dirty raspberries away. When I had shuffled my way up and down every aisle and made it to the check out stand, I found another dilemma waiting for me: I had to bend over to get the items out of the cart and onto the check out stand. My solution to this was to strategically squeeze myself between the cart and the candy stand so that no one was behind me when I bent over to get the items out. The checker lady basically called me crazy with her eyes and I smiled nicely and acted like it was totally normal for me to be knocking candy off the stand with my behind while shushing my kid because he kept saying "I made a mess with the raspberries. Mommy threw it away!" She probably felt sorry for my kids because she asked if it was okay to give them the left over Mother's Day balloons. I left the store with two big Mother's Day balloons, two happy kids, and blog material. But, just when I thought my post was good enough, Maia let go of her balloon. Since it had a plastic smily face on the end of it, instead of going up, it just blew side ways across the parking lot. She completely freaked out and I knew that I would have to chase it down in spite of the fact that everyone would be able to see the tear in my jeans. I locked the truck with my screaming kids in it and ran to the bush that had trapped Maia's balloon on the opposite side of the parking lot . I will not be returning to that particular Ralph's store because I am sure that I left a lasting memory with all the shoppers and the cart gatherer person who saw me run across the parking lot with my inappropriately torn jeans.

Slacker

I am a slacker. I have been too busy playing Scrabble on my free time to blog and I feel like it's time to get my act together again. Here is what has happened this last week...

Noah had his first experience with a bully and I almost kicked the kid myself. It's amazing how your maturity level digresses quickly when you see another kid bully your own kid.

I planned a last minute party for Maia's first birthday and it turned out lovely. Maia hated her cake and got mad at me for putting her hand in it, so I have no cute pictures of her with frosting all over her face. Ricky spent a good 15 hours making a slide show/ video of Maia's first year but it turned out to be for nothing. We could not show it because we realized that we had too few pictures of one family member and we didn't want feelings to be hurt. Oh and it is worth mentioning that at both Noah and Maia's parties someone had to jump in the pool with their clothes on to rescue a drowning child. So, you may not want to bring your children to my kids' birthday parities!

For Mother's Day I got an iPhone from my wonderful hubby! Now I can blog from my phone!

Today, Noah and Maia got their one year and two year physicals. Definitely not fun. It included a ton of whining from Noah who had no reason to whine, one bite from Maia on Noah's belly, loud crying (she cried so hard her lips turned blue) from Maia because of her shots, and a very worried Noah who wondered why we would let them do this to his sister. Needless to say they are both terrified of the doctor's office now. The mere mention of the "d" word can cause complete chaos in my house.

10 Most Common Phrases in My House

"Let's say 'Thank You Jesus.' "

"It's your turn to change poop."

"Moooooommy!"

"You need to share with your sister." 

"Why are there always dirty dishes in the sink."

"Do you have poop?" 

"No!"

"Do you want a spanking?"

"I'm too tired to make dinner. Let's just go out" 

"Mommy's blogging.  You need to go eat another animal cookie and watch your movie." 

You Know You're a Mom of Toddlers Who is in Need of a Spa Day...

In lieu of Mother's Day quickly approaching I decided to post this.

You know that you are a mom of toddlers who is in need of a spa day...

If you find yourself referring to your husband as a "big boy." Example: "Daddy's a big boy and goes potty in the toilet. Don't you want to be a big boy like daddy?"

If you point out airplanes to people around you even when your kids are not with you

If you sing the "Clean up" song as you are doing dishes and making your bed

If getting poop on your finger doesn't gross you out and doesn't require immediate hand washing

If you pretend not to notice that your kid has a poopy diaper and when he asks to be changed you tell him to wait until daddy gets home

If you find yourself throwing away toys that you stub your foot on instead of putting them away

If you threaten your husband with time out

If you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night yelling STOP WHINING!

If your definition of a successful week is no trips to the emergency room.

If you wake up in the morning and begin counting down the minutes until your kids' nap time as soon as you open your eyes

Confession Time

My house looks like a tornado hit it and I am sitting here on the computer instead of doing something about my nasty house

Maia's nose is just one big scab and today she and Noah were playing in her crib together when Noah jumped up and sat right on her face. Poor girl...the scabs cracked and started bleeding again and I am afraid that she is going to end up with a nasty scar on her nose.

I think I am pregnant every month and completely freak out and drive my husband crazy.

I am so addicted to online Scrabble that I put my kids in their cribs and ignore them just so that I can play without distraction

I really wish that God would bless us with a house with a yard...then I could sen the kids out to play in the yard while I play online Scrabble...

The other day, I was so annoyed with Noah asking to get out of his carseat while we were driving that I told him that if he asked again the police man would come and take daddy away...it worked, but now he is terrified of police men...